Cries and Whispers

Gratitude is so seldom found, and those who are most grateful cannot express it, are silent in their confusion or ashamed, or sometimes seem ungracious just to conceal their feelings. --Stefan Zweig, in his short story, TWENTY-FOUR HOURS IN THE LIFE OF A WOMAN 

I’m grateful for all of the activity and communication I experienced this week. 

Sept. 4, 1996 

Uncle Mike, 

This reminded me of Washington D.C. The fireworks—not the Statue of Liberty! By the way, I heard about how you guys get $600 and Lauren Armijo gets $300. How unfair! I mean, she had everything in that suitcase, and it wasn’t even her suitcase! At least $500 each—but hey, it’s not my business. Tomorrow’s Grandma’s Birthday. She’ll be 61 years! I hope had fun at the San Diego Zoo. I’m going to go now. Did you have to rip off a sticker? 

Sept. 6, 1996 

Dear Mom, 

You are not getting older, only better.  

When we had dinner at the BAY WOLF on Piedmont Avenue last month, I could see how young you really are!  

Remember this card? I bought it at that store on Piedmont Avenue when we were there together last month. 

Enjoy this token Birthday Gift. 

Talk to you soon and see ya on Sept. 16, 1996. 

Love, 

Michael 

Sept. 7, 1996 

Alan and I attended another APLA fundraiser event on the night of September 7, 1996. It wasn’t at the Playboy Mansion this year. It was under a giant hangar at the Santa Monica Airport. It wasn’t as intimate, and we ended up leaving early. We recognized Hugh Heffner and wife Kimberly—but frankly, I don’t see what a beautiful woman like that sees in an old man like Hugh. Everyone says, “It’s the money.” Money doesn’t buy happiness. Also seen were actress Katey Sagal, Christina Applegate and has-been Lorenzo Lamas...so that list of celebrity presence tells you right there that it would be ‘so-so’ and it was because it was too big a venue and you couldn’t schmooze with people as easily as we did when it was held at the Playboy Mansion last year.  

At least Alan and I dressed appropriately because the theme was LIONS, TIGERS and HARES. Ha-ha. 

Sept. 9, 1996 

Hi Michael, 

First off, I’m printing because I’m only able to use three fingers on y right hand. I’ve had a broken ring finger/knuckle for three months and will have to keep it wrapped up for about five more months! 

This will be a short one. I’ll try to write again soon with more of what’s been going on in our lives.  We are all okay. 

Currently, my address is 105 Brook Terrace, Fremont, CA 94538. We had a cash deal on our home in Niles, first contract in 18 months but the lady backed out after we were all moved out. Donna and her family were rooted it seems and it took the house selling for us to get out from under this stressful nine and a half months we’d let ourselves get into. 

The man (boy) Donna married really is a user of her family. First us for 9 ½ months, then Joey for 5-weeks. They finally moved into a place in Livermore. Her new address is 3034 Gardella Plaza, Livermore, CA 94550, 510-454-9308. She’ll be thrilled to hear from you. I know. 

Donna is seven months pregnant for her fourth. Hopefully, a boy this time. She has her hands full with Veronica and Sarah. The two she’s had since married to Mr. Payne. 

We’re in a 10 x 24 screened porch of my mom’s single wide mobile home. With this heat we’ve been having it’s like a sauna during the day and in the wee hours of the morning it gets cold. More on this later... 

Remember me in your prayers to St. Jude—helper of people in desperate situations like me right now! 

Thanks for never forgetting me. 

Love Ya, 

Aunt Lela 

Sept. 10, 1996 Dearest Michael,

Love the BLADERUNNER postcard. Thanks so much for the perfect Espresso Granita note. 

I loved LONESTAR. I really want to see EMMA and RENDEVOUS PARIS. We saw SYNTHETIC PLEASURES at the UC Theater ten days ago. Wow! That is our new reality?  

AH, S.F... still not sure about that. I jay go but not this month. The future will reveal all. 

The Playboy APLA gig sounds like so much fun. I’d love to see your in costume. 

The Block Party was very pleasant. I met several Berkely High School Alumni. I got to wonder—does my block have the highest percentage of BHS graduates than any other block in Berkeley? And I met the other Barbara on our black. It is amazing I saw folks I’d never seen before. This was our first Block Party. I really hope it becomes an annual event.  

No trips planned. I was fortunate to have last week as vacation but the farthest I got was Oakland. The weather was delicious, and I relaxed, walked, cleaned and watched old videos from the Berkeley Library. A Cuban flick, PORTRAIT OF TERESA, CRIES AND WHISPERS, and old Wim Wenders film about a trip with Alice (ALICE IN THE CITIES, 1974). You would have liked it. 

I heard from my traveling friend, David, last week. He is now in Bethlehem, PA. I am thinking about whether I want to visit him there. Too soon to tell.  

Yes, school days again. I love this time of year and I’m also thinking about taking a class. Cooking or Self-Hypnosis or Home Decoration or Practical Poetry. The list is quite long.  

Getting a bit dizzy thinking about your travels. You GEMINI. Sorry, I’m not good at interpretation. 

More Later,  

Love,  

Barbara  

Perhaps, the mind goes wrong, goes bad like a banana in a gym bag. Perhaps like elevators, the mind has a maximum weight capacity. --Samantha Lucero, LET THE DEVIL WEAR BLACK