Learning To Reinvent Thy Self
Photo by fauxels: https://www.pexels.com/photo/man-and-woman-near-table-3184465/I had a conversation with a friend of mine from LinkedIn who happens to be a business consultant and coach. I even signed up for his coaching program. We had a Zoom meeting, and one of his students and I discussed a lot of things.
We had a meeting and he gave us practical assignments. The assignments were designed to hold his students accountable and also to force us out of our comfort zones to make decisions that would push us to a certain point.
During our conversation, I mentioned my indecision over my career and life in general. I have been struggling with this for years. How many of you deal with this same problem?
In my case, I relied way too heavily on my mother and siblings to do the heavy lifting for me because I feared failure. It gets to the point that my family would snap at me and mock me for my indecision. I was scared of the unknown. I told my friend this and he listened and suggested that I call him after our meeting.
I also sent him my old CV so that he could see what I was talking about. I had worked at two media-related companies, one a well-known Nigerian newspaper, as an Intern (did that twice), and Lagos state’s traffic-based radio station as an Editorial Intern, of sorts.
I did all that whilst I was still in school. I was the one that even told my mother I wanted to do that. Why? I always wanted to do something media-related. People like Mo Abudu, Oprah Winfrey, and Betty Irabor inspire me. I wanted to do something like them and at the same time, inspire young African women.
He went through my CV and came to the same conclusion I did; the CV was badly written and poorly edited. The worst part? It was written by one of my sisters. I even told my mum about this prior to the meeting, but she said that I should not say a word to that sister, and for good reason.
Either way, I later called him via WhatsApp and we had a great heart-to-heart conversation. I told him about my mental health battles and the bullshit I went through growing up.
Do you know what he told me? He said, “Dami first and foremost, you do not sound like a bipolar person. If anything, stop calling yourself a bipolar person. That is what people are telling you and they are weaponizing it against you. From what I can see, you are a smart, beautiful woman with so much to give this world.”
He then followed up by asking me this, “What do you want people to remember you for?” For the first time in my life, I had a question I had no answer for. I had a lot of dreams and yet none of them made sense or added up. Why? Because I did not know what my life purpose was.
How many of you have gone through that kind of situation? Imagine going through the cycles, almost as though you were acting on autopilot. That question made me realize that. It also brought to mind something one of my sisters said, which was, “Why do you keep acting like you are sleepwalking or a zombie?”
Harsh, right?
Instead, my LinkedIn friend asked me which things I could talk to people about comfortably and also that I know well. This ties in with that question. I could not come up with something concrete.
When I told him that I did not know, he told me to list out what I am interested in, and then pray. After the prayers, begin crossing out what does not make sense or what I am not feeling until I come down to the career choice or choices that make sense.
I did just that and I smiled, because guess what I settled on? Digital Marketer, Writer, Social Media Manager (possibly xD), Content Writer, and Copywriter. Yes, those were fields I have always been interested in but scared to go down that path or change my LinkedIn profile.
Usually, if you keep changing your job description, people would think you have an identity crisis. The truth is, that some of us need to go through trial and error before something sticks. That is something Africans do not understand. Nigerians are not the most patient individuals and think social media marketing is just b.s. It is not. A lot of people are reaping the benefits of it.
However, it took them weeks, months even years to build a visible brand. That was what my friend also told me. He told me to slowly work on rebuilding my brand. In order to do that, I must now train myself in the fields that I am interested in and push out as much content as possible, basically establishing myself as an authority figure of sorts.
He also told me to be patient and take it one step at a time. So advice to all you newbies out there; don’t rush. Just because others are doing things a certain way does not mean that you too must follow them.
We are all unique individuals. Even if we are pursuing the same job, our goals would be different.
Set SMART goals. I gave my boyfriend that advice today. What does SMART mean? It can be boiled down to the following:
S — Specific
M- Measurable
A- Achievable
R- Realistic
T- Timely
Think about that before you set any goal.
If you enter a new career, you have to come up with a career path. First, consider your current situation and age, and then draw up the plan.
I am glad that he told me all this. He even encouraged me to take more pictures and put myself out there and basically show off. I am a shy person s hearing that makes me terrified. But I guess I will take his advice when next I braid my hair that is.
Hope you all learned something new from this today.
[image error]Learning To Reinvent Thy Self was originally published in CRY Magazine on Medium, where people are continuing the conversation by highlighting and responding to this story.
