The Runaway Grocery Cart Armageddon

Hmmm, if we all pitch in, can we stave off Armageddon?

I wentgrocery shopping on Thursday afternoon as usual. I had the grocery cart filledwith bags and was wheeling it through the parking lot to my car whilemomentarily distracted thinking about a side trip I planned to make on the wayhome.

A gust of wind swept up the grocery receipt, which I had tucked into one of the bags, and sent it skittering across the ground. Instinctively, I let go of the cart and started chasing the receipt. The wind kept blowing it just out of my reach. I finally managed to stamp my foot down on it so I could retrieve it.

As Idid so, I heard the sound of the grocery cart rolling away. I quickly turnedand realized that the parking lot slopes away from the store. Shit! Shit! Shit!, I muttered under mybreath as I pictured several disastrous scenarios:

Thegrocery cart angling right and slamming into a car putting a sizable dent in it– in which case I would be liable for the cost.

Thegrocery cart angling left and running down the little old lady causing her todo a spectacular backflip before crashing to the pavement – in which case I wouldbe calling 911 and explaining my moment of distraction to the police officer.

Thegrocery cart plunging straight ahead achieving terminal velocity as it reachedthe end of the parking lot and vaulting the curb into the street causing amulti-vehicle collision – in which case, see above.

Fortunately,I managed to chase down the cart (much to the displeasure of my temperamentalback which forbids me to run) and corral it before any of these disastrousoutcomes unfolded. The only damage was to my back which was in a bad mood forthe rest of the day.

Itoccurred to me that the runaway grocery cart was a living metaphor for thestate of the world today. On any given day, there are several ticking timebombs at home and around the globe that could quickly escalate with catastrophicresults. Plenty of content for the 6:00 news which thrives on these events.

Weelect politicians to prevent such things from happening or to wrestle themunder control if they do. But the politicians insist on devoting their effortsto pretending the problem does not exist or will resolve itself, findingsomeone else to blame when the shit hits the fan or preparing their pre-emptiveI told you so statements for themedia.

So what can do? Perhaps each of us can commit to chasing down one of the runaway grocery carts that are gathering speed and merging course. None of us can solve all the problems. But all of us can help solve one problem and together staff off Armageddon.

~  Now Available Onlinefrom Amazon, Chapters Indigo or Barnes & Noble: Hunting Muskie, Rites ofPassage – Stories by Michael Robert Dyet

~ Michael Robert Dyet is alsothe author of Until the Deep Water Stills – An Internet-enhanced Novel whichwas a double winner in the Reader Views Literary Awards 2009. Visit Michael’swebsite at www.mdyetmetaphor.com .

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