Reflections on a Year: Is It Worth It?
On August 13th, 2021, I pressed that very scary button and published my first novel, Unknown. (I’m a few days late on its birthday, but I can’t believe my baby is so old!) Being a published author is different than I’d imagined—when I was young, I envisioned myself being published by some huge publishing house like Revell or Bethany House. (And I never imagined publishing a romantic suspense novel! Those were the days of historical fiction.) I dreamed of a far-off day when my book would be in the catalogs, when my book would be on displayed on a popular Christian fiction website.
Well, now I am published—though not by a publishing house. I’m not a bestseller. I think there have been months when I haven’t made a single sale.
Yeah, I’m not a wildly successful author. 
So, is all the emotional turmoil and long hours and hard work worth it?
Yes. And let me tell you why. 
I’m not a bestseller—but I pray my books have touched a few people. I pray the truths of Scripture that I’ve striven to include in these books has changed the hearts of my readers by God’s grace alone. (Because, after all, “So then neither is he that planteth any thing, neither he that watereth; but God that giveth the increase.” 1 Corinthians 3:7)
And while I’m not even close to being able to support myself with this writing income, this isn’t about earthly treasure. Now, is it wrong to have that dream of being able to support yourself with my writing career? No, and it’d be amazing if I could! But right now—and always, I pray—I have to remember that my true treasure is in heaven, not on earth.
“Lay not up for yourselves treasures upon earth, where moth and rust doth corrupt, and where thieves break through and steal: But lay up for yourselves treasures in heaven, where neither moth nor rust doth corrupt, and where thieves do not break through nor steal: For where your treasure is, there will your heart be also.” Matthew 6: 19-21 KJV
And these are the things we all have to remember when our feelings shout otherwise or we see other authors doing far better than us. Not always easy, is it? But when we keep our eyes on Jesus, He does lead us in the paths of righteousness and upholds us with His Hand … even when we falter.
So maybe I’m not the author I once dreamed of, but somehow, the Lord created a far better answer to my dreams than I ever could have. Because what is better than following His calling? Following Him comes with a cost, but that cost is nothing in comparison to all He’s given. And in light of the fact that He gives me the opportunity to do this thing I love so deeply … it just blows me away! When we follow His calling, that doesn’t mean we’re going to be miserable. Yeah, it’s hard, but He will also give us joy and strength.
So, indie author, take heart. Maybe we aren’t bestsellers (yet), but in the end, that doesn’t matter so much. We are called to glorify Him, whether that’s with one sale or ten thousand.
Following Him is always worth it.
