Yes, Still Praying!

 Just a quick little update on the prayer front. Many of you know I pray for a particular person and I have since about this time (September 2019) about three years ago. It may have been end of September, beginning of October, I don't really know. What I do know is that God got a hold of me while I was listening to the music this man recorded (with a worship band at the time) and He (God) asked me to pray directly for the one particular man. This sort of thing has happened to me in the past; this wasn't the first time God has literally given me a command or directive concerning one person.  It's not like I'm the best prayer warrior, nothing like that. It's not that I don't sin and therefore God will hear every word of my every prayer, or that because I'm such a great person God will answer my prayers regarding the person I'm lifting. No, more or less it is because God Himself has saved me, and I owe Him! I owe Him so when He asks me to do something, I am not about to say no.

    Here I was, about three years ago now, praying for someone on a very routine and even mundane basis, right up to the moment God stopped me and asked if I would like for someone to pray for me the same way I was praying for this man. He, again God, asked me through the Spirit living in me, if I realized the way I was praying was both boring and ineffective. Yes, I was fulfilling my duty, I was in fact doing what I was asked, but it was sort of (exactly like) a security guard showing up for the night shift and then going to sleep; maybe placing a cut out of him or herself in the window of the guard station to make it look as if the work was being performed. Who are we that we think God doesn't see these types of shananigans? C'mon! He's EVERYWHERE and sees everthing.

   You may ask then, if God is in fact everywhere and sees everything, why would He need you, (me) a nobody, to do the whole lifting in prayer anyway? Wouldnt He already know what needs to be done? Of course He knows! Let me say it this way, again, I owe Him. I am indebted to my Lord, He is MY salvation.  If He wants to be served and asks me to serve Him, and He gives me a way to do it, then that's exactly what I'm going to do. The problem wasn't God, the problem was ME. I was half-heartedly doing my job! He knew it, I knew it, and He called me out on it.  

    About two years ago I really hunkered down on the assignment. I researched the man, I found out literally anything and everything I could about him from his professional life to and through (deep diving) into his personal life. He seemed rather normal to be honest. I couldn't understand why it was that God was so adamant that I continue to work through my service to Him through praying for someone who didn't really need prayer.  I was wrong!  The strings of this man's life slowly but steadily began to unravel even as early as November 2019. I remember November 2019 very well. I became sick with what was later described and diagnosed as Covid 19.  If I remember anything it was that time of my life. I had a lot of time to pray for my "friend" because I was home and not doing much of anything else.

    Months went by, the world felt different, conditions changed, challenges reared their ugly faces, and the man I pray for became annoyed, then upset. He became isolated, anxious, depressed, and even a bit manic in some ways. Soon, about a year later, a year ago, his tapestry was not only undone, it was heaved and shoved to the side; whether he did the heaving, or his wife, or his family, or the world at large, it didn't really matter, he was upside down, tipsy-turvy, and rolling downhill really quickly in terms of his emotions and stability. He bottomed out fast and he bottomed out hard.

    Though he was and is a born again Believer, he was hurting to the point of not being able to find his way to God for help. If he asked for it, he may not have accepted the help, and the man ended up needing professional help. I knew something was up, but I didn't and couldn't find out anything. My prayers went from 10 minutes to over 30 minutes and sometimes over an hour every day. I tried to find out more information, but stone wall after stone wall was found and I just couldn't push past it. God can push through, I knew this, so I just kept praying. 

    A bit after the first of the year he emerged from where he had been for about four months, and he had not only changed his appearance by dropping several (30-40) pounds, he was clean shaven, he wasn't in the band anymore. He had decided to start completely over, and that was hard for me to accept and understand because I watched as he reportedly (through his own posting) told a new tale of where he lived, how he was living, what he was not doing, and in a very blunt way he was starting over without his family beside him; without his kids. That's the part that hurt me. It hurt me for him, not for myself. I couldn't imagine what he was going through or why he was being forced to stay out of their lives. It couldn't be that he was choosing to; he was their caregiver for the past 10-12 years.  He was Super Dad!

    As time moved forward week by week, I began to see changes in the man's personal character that utterly screamed CHANGE! He wasn't who he was, and this new guy was unrecognizable when it came to his walk with Christ. It was as if he had purposely set Jesus on a shelf and tried to row the boat single-handedly. I knew that wouldn't work. I've capsized a number of times trying. One of the advantages I have over this guy is that I've already made so many of the mistakes I can see he was making. I didn't go as far as he went with one or two of these mistakes, I can tell you that right now, and I, being absolutely upset and fed up with his choices, decided to call off my prayers and just throw the whole mess into the proverbial sea! Let the idiot sink! Let's see if he can swim without Jesus! Go for it, there's a whale out there with your name on it Buddy! That's what I was thinking. I did too. I just threw up my hands, and walked away!

     I didn't get very far.  About an hour or so after my little tantrum, God called me back to the prayer closet to ask me again, if I would want someone who was praying for me to do that.  Of course, I said no, but I reminded God that I wouldn't have slapped Jesus in the face like I thought I was seeing either! That's when God whispered,  "No, you wouldn't, but he needs your prayers now more than he did before, doesn't he?" Oh, I can't STAND IT when God is right...then again, I'm so glad God is ALWAYS right!  If we can count on anything it is that God will not, cannot, and won't ever change. If it was a sin in the year 600 BC it is a sin today. If it was a commandment in the year 1319 it is a commandment today, and it will remain a commandment until the last day of eternity. There is no last day of eternity just so you know.

    So, here we are, here I am, still praying and still hoping that what I pray is being heard and that God is moving and will continue to move in the life and spirit of the man He's asked me to pray for.  I am absolutely thrilled to the core to report that He is doing just that. Every day I check the social media posts of my friend, and every day I see movement back to God. I see strides, I see hope, I see willingness, I see healing. I see grace, and my broken heart breaks further into a melting of goodness and warmth that can only be created by and maintained by my God and my Savior Jesus.  I'll go ahead and tell you that I was unceremoniously banned and blocked by my "friend" when I called him out for what he was doing and how he was doing it. I don't blame him; from his point of view, I may look like some weirdo who thinks she has a right to address his life choices. I do NOT have that right. I overstepped.

    I found a way, and I continue to view his social media every day, but I never respond and I never comment, never like something, I don't approach or address him in any form. I mean, I do blog, and if he's reading this it means that he is not only still reading what I write, but that he gives a damn enough to do so. I know he does, and that's why I do it. He knows I give a damn too, but I respect him, and I won't approach or address him directly. When he's willing, when he's ready, we'll talk. For now, I know that I would want the person who is praying for me to continue to follow me, continue to love me, continue to care and continue to hope for me.  God doesn't ask us to do much, not really, but what He asks of us, we should do with a cheerful heart. I think I do.

    Soon, and very soon, the Rapture of the Church will happen. When it does I will go into Heaven at the VERY same second, split nano-second that my friend will go. We will both be in the presence of Jesus and none of this will matter as far as what either of us thought about the other. What will matter is that God will be praised, God will be loved, God will be honored, and God will be served. If nothing else is done, that is done.  I can't even describe the joy my soul is overcome with when I see that my prayers for this man have been heard and worked. His actions will not affect me in any way. His choices will not affect me in any way. His decisions will not affect me in any way. He is not mine, but we will be linked eternally through Jesus; and that is more, much more than enough. It is such a gift. Such an enormous and precious gift. 

"Delight yourself in the Lord, and He will give you the desires of your heart. Commit your way to Him, and He will bring it to pass."  Psalms 37:4-5  If it was true then, it is true now, and it will always be true.  My desires are being met because I refuse to stop delighting in my God!  It is so very very free-ing, if that's a word, to be bound to Jesus. 

Photo Credit: Fan Pop