The Fiver | West Ham and the cost of needlessly fizzy premium-brand lager

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Phew, what a scorcher, eh readers? Yay. But in this sort of frankly unpatriotic heat, it’s important that we pall-conditioned Brits remember to take steps to stay cool. That means going to work dressed sensibly for the weather, in one’s best string vest, preferably without too many egg stains; sitting in front of a fully blasting fan, and to hell with climate change or the energy crisis; and staying fully hydrated, which means laying off the Talisker, perhaps substituting it with a lighter Speyside, or adding a drop of water, or maybe even having a full cup of water, just the water, malt-free this time. Take care out there, kids.

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