Taking a dive for a lizard

I’m an animal lover. This won’t surprise anyone who’s seen my son’s Odd1sout Youtube videos about how we ended up with five cats.  Click here to see me in cartoon form So last week when a baby lizard snuck into our house at midnight, (I was feeding one of said cats) I couldn’t just let the lizard die somewhere in my house. (Because who wants to find a dead lizard sometime?)

I put a bowl over him, slid a piece of cardboard under it, and proceeded to carefully pick up the bowl.

And then I fell.

I don’t know how this happened, but I immediately calculated the outcomes. If I put my hands down to catch myself 1) the bowl would break 2) the lizard would escape and possibly run over my body or 3) I might end up squishing the lizard.

I didn’t want any of those things to happen (particularly the last two-Ewww) so I didn’t put out my hands to break my fall. I took the hit and rolled on the floor, still clutching the bowl-full-of-lizard to my chest.

Then I had a second problem. I didn’t think I could get up without 1) falling again or 2) releasing the lizard.

I lay there on the kitchen floor like that lady in the Life Alert commercial, calling to my husband, but I knew even as I yelled his name that he wouldn’t hear me. He was on the second floor and could sleep through an apocalypse.

I finally managed to get up without releasing the lizard and put it outside, where it happily scurried away.

I’m still bruised and have a crick in my neck.

But here’s the thing, I’ve always believed that if you love and sacrifice for an animal, in the next life, it will be yours. When I die, I expect to be greeted by a lot of cats, dogs, and hamsters…and now a lizard. Because I took a dive for that thing.

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