Confessions of a Hole-in-My-Shoe Dinosaur

Hmmm, when everythingold is new again, will I have the last laugh?

It is said that confessionis good for the soul. In the spirit of that sentiment, there are a few things Ineed to come clean about.

I never posted a photo on Facebook of the meal I am about to consume. In fact, I have never taken a photo of my meal for any purpose in a restaurant or at home.

I am still using an old Apple iPhone which I purchased so longago I cannot remember when it was. It is so old that the web browser on it,which I never use, is Safari. I  also never downloaded the update that itnotified me of shortly after I bought the phone.

My car is thirteen yearsold with well over 200,000 kilometres on it. I have to use an actual key tostart it as the push button start function was not invented back then. I do notplan to replace it until something serious goes wrong with it. And yes, forshame, it runs on gasoline.

I still read books inprint format. I did purchase a Kindle Reader some years ago out of curiosity. Inever much cared for it. When it wore out, I went back to print books and willbe sticking with them forever.

I have never watched Game of Thrones. Not one episode. I do not even know what it is about or whether it is still on the air. I also do not watch reality TV shows despite the growing reality that there are more of those shows than any other form of programming.

I do not read documents of any length on line. I print them in their entirety so I can read them. If the document is not in a printable format, I will painstakingly copy and paste it into a WORD document so I can print it.

I have clothes in mycloset that are more than ten years old. I still wear them regularly and intendto keep doing so. I do not know how many years out of date they are from afashion perspective. Some of them may have come back in style and gone out ofstyle again. I may still be wearing them when their fashion cycle repeats yetagain.

I have never used Uber. Not once. On the infrequentoccasions when my thirteen year old car is out of commission, I call a taxi.Yes, taxis still exist.

I have never downloaded an app. Not once. Remarkable as it may seem, my life has not been diminished in any way by this omission.

One of my running shoes,which are several yeas old, has had a hole in the toe for a couple of years. Ifeel no need to replace it at the present time. A hole in the toe is a minormatter to me as long as the integrity of the rest of the shoe is intact.

In light of the above admissions, I confess that I am a hole-in-my-shoe dinosaur living in an earlier, simpler time. I use things until they wear out, decline to buy things that everybody else has and feel no pressure to watch things that everybody else does.

You may argue that I donot know what I am missing. I will counter, if I do not know what I am missing,how can I miss it? I may have the last laugh when everything old is new again.

~  Now Available Onlinefrom Amazon, Chapters Indigo or Barnes & Noble: Hunting Muskie, Rites ofPassage – Stories by Michael Robert Dyet

~ Michael Robert Dyet is alsothe author of Until the Deep Water Stills – An Internet-enhanced Novel whichwas a double winner in the Reader Views Literary Awards 2009. Visit Michael’swebsite at www.mdyetmetaphor.com .

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