Excess Baggage

 This blog (semi-rant) will be dedicated to those people who have what the world calls "baggage", or even excess baggage because they come to the table with crisis after crisis.  You know these people. You may be one of these people.  I can't say no one really starts life out with baggage, but that's not true. There are kids being born who are literally hooked on crack, heroin, whatever, and yeah, that would qualify as being loaded down at an early age with something they did not deserve, but there it is. It's just there, you can't change it, you can't do anything about it, but you can deal with it. You can handle it; you can try to find ways to control some of the problems you come with in order to have a better outcome.

    I'm divorced and I realized this year that I will be "celebrating" the 25th anniversary of that divorce. I originally divorced my husband in 1995, but due to the critical timing of that divorce (Oklahoma City Bombing) we were sort of thrown back into the marriage out of a sense of guilt -- it didn't last even a year before the shenanigans continued; our divorce was final in November 1997.  Believe me, I haven't looked back. I won't be sending the man silver to commemorate the date either. I only brought it up to say that after 25 years, I don't consider my divorce to be legitimate baggage should I enter into another relationship. However, a more recent divorce could certainly evolve into being baggage or something the other person would have to deal with or overlook in order to pursue a relationship with someone. You should never begin a new relationship right after breaking up since it could lead to a mix of confusion both mentally and emotionally for both parties. (My opinion)

    More people have so much to consider these days after a divorce than I can possibly imagine.  A friend of mine in Texas is not only recently divorced, it is his 2nd divorce in 10 years. He has two children with his first wife and another child with his second wife. He has child support payments, has one alimony payment, and he dodged a bullet on the second wife since they were only married two years. His first wife has no intention of marrying again, and he'll be stuck paying about one-third of whatever he can earn to her for probably another 10 years. Talk about baggage, the poor man isn't mentally healthy, he's lost job after job, but luckily for him because he does reside in Texas, he doesn't have his wages garnished. He pays what he can to support his children.

    Let's say that man decides to date again (because he likely will), and the new woman he finds decides to count up the luggage being dropped on her from his past. She's going to have to be some sort of a saint in order to put up with different-aged kids, two ex-wives, in-laws, family, church friends, and anyone who has an emotional tie to the man, not to mention the fact that currently, he's on disability because he has anxiety and can't work. How is he going to take her out to dinner? Oh, well, he may not be taking her, she may be taking him.  She would also need to realize that over the past twenty or twenty-five years of this man's life he's been in and out of a few rehabs for drug and alcohol use. He's sober now, he's been sober for over four years, but it's still a long and heartbreaking battle for both the addict and their lovers.

    Many times we, as humans, start to look at our lives and we take inventory (even if only mentally) of all the crap we've been saddled with, the things we brought on ourselves, the things that were thrown at us because of circumstances or situations we had little to no control over, and we get really frustrated.  It's not uncommon for people to just give up, get depressed, have breakdowns, and throw away the good with the bad when they choose to just start completely over. I've known men and women (more men) who have literally just taken off for greener pastures, leaving families, debts, and everything behind so they can break free of the chains they're shackled with. When that happens the families die, relationships die, and communities suffer -- we have to know we all have something in our past that keeps us from being pure and untouched by sorrow. Not one of us is completely baggage free.

    As always, Jesus is the answer.  You knew I was going there, right? I mean, we don't need to think about what we're going to do because it's already been settled at the Cross!  We weren't meant to take it all on for ourselves alone. We weren't meant to take anything beyond the Cross without prayer and obedience. If we find ourselves at the end of the rope we have a Rope Maker right before us, around us, through us, in us, and near us. He specializes in saving lives and souls. Why would we fret? If you know me, you know I don't want anyone to fret unless they're holding a guitar! By the way, if you can play the guitar you can erase a few of those bags!! Just sayin', guitars work miracles too in the hearts of many a fair maiden. This is a fact.

    If you were to sit yourself down right now and write out all of your claims to all of the bad things, the negative things (or seemingly negative) that you are toting around, could you come up with more than 10? I bet you could if you're over the age of 40! We get hit pretty hard between 25-40, wouldn't you say? Mortgages, lost wages, Covid, custody battles, friends dying by accident or disease, anxiety, loneliness, you can't get away from the tragic parcels strapped on your back and sliding around to the front to load you down! It's no wonder people gain weight, lose weight, binge drink, use drugs, and do so many things to just escape - - but where are you going to run that Christ can't be found right there when you arrive? Nowhere!  He is EVERYWHERE. That's Him, over there with His hands out waiting for you to take them and hand over the gear you've been dragging about.

    Buck up, friend!  I love the song by Mercy Me where part of the lyrics is "Well, let me introduce you to Amazing Grace!"  Jesus also did the unimaginable.  He created people who are capable of helping you (and others) unload some of that weight that has been burdening you for years.  He's created those people who He knows are the best for you; even if you don't think so. He can't lie. He can't and won't suggest, He gives. He is not going to ask you "What do you think about so and so?" He'll just say "Hey, here's your new partner, pay close attention to the way I created her/him because they have an uncanny way and means of helping you relax and resolve your every issue, but it all starts with you listening to Me! I love you. Your prayers have been answered."  The thing about Jesus is, He's always perfect, not partially perfect. He's flat out, every time, all the way, perfect. If you listen to Him and do what He asks, and you are sincere in your requests, He'll supply what you need, not always what you want; but it will be PERFECT.

    This didn't turn out to be a semi-rant at all. I think I like this blog. I hope you'll take it to heart, maybe make your list(s) and then surrender them to Jesus asking Him to provide whatever and whomever He deems to be the right person to help you through the next chapter. If He and/or you feel that you can make it on your own, that's cool too -- I've been solo for 25 years and I'm still going strong. I wouldn't mind being the helper this time around -- but that's 100% up to Jesus at this point. I'll sit back and watch the fireworks for now. There are usually some pretty good things to think about while I thank Him for all He's done for me these past 782 years I've been roaming the Earth. 

Be Blessed....and be relieved. Drop your bags and pick up the Cross. (Hint: He's on the other end of that too, helping you walk your walk)

Photo Credit: IrishNews.com