Why is Wanting Sex So Hard? Can You Boost Your Libido?

For so many of us, sex is the greatest source of tension in our marriage.

Now, sometimes it’s for nefarious reasons, like a husband who uses pornography (or a wife who uses pornography). Sometimes there has been major betrayal, or the marriage is just really on the rocks.

But lots of times the tension revolves around libido and frequency: One person wants sex a lot more than the other. And quite typically it’s the husband who wants sex more than the wife (though again, women can have the higher libido too!).

Many of us feel like if we just wanted sex more then our marriages would be so much easier.

We want to want sex more. We desperately want to want it.

But wanting to want it doesn’t seem to result in actually wanting it.

We’ve been talking this month about what’s killing women’s libidos, and I’ve diagnosed a big part of the problem.  I’ve talked about some of the solutions–like understanding what we can influence, and understanding our brakes and accelerators.

But I’ve put it all together in one place in my Boost Your Libido course, where we get super practical.

The Boost Your Libido course takes you more in-depth in understanding what libido is, and then looking at all the things that could be acting like “brakes” in your sex life, as well as helping you identify your accelerators.

The ten modules build step-by-step on each other, so that you can start seeing results now.

I’ve had people telling me that the very first module set them free–that they always thought they weren’t sexual, and felt so much shame about that. But the insights from Module 1 woke them up!

 

Are you TIRED of always being too tired for sex?

Do you yearn to actually WANT to make love--and figure out what all the fuss is about?

There is a way! In this 10-module recently revamped Boost Your Libido course I take you through what libido is (it may surprise you!), what affects libido, and how we can reclaim the excitement that God made us for.

Get $10 off until July 5 at midnight EST!

Tell me more! For the last several months Rebecca and I have been rewriting the course, updating it with our new research, and adding a lot about mental load.

The course originally launched in 2017, but since then we’ve done our huge studies involving over 32,500 people, and we wanted to incorporate those findings. They’ve changed the way I talk about some things, and they’ve shown me that other things are even more important when it comes to libido (like mental load!).

 

If you’ve bought the course in the past–you already have access to the brand new videos and brand new exercises! Whenever you buy a course from me, you have lifetime access, which means that if I update it, you get the updated version, for free!

Our goal was to make this course super practical and hands on.

So we walk you through modules on:

Understanding responsive and spontaneous libidosDealing with mental loadGetting over the “Do I want to tonight?” humpSeeing how hormone levels affect your libidoUnderstanding what habits may be “turning us off”Dealing with body image issuesand more!

And, of course, we look at how beliefs about sex may have totally turned you off of sex–for very good reason.

Is your problem more that sex never feels good?

If you don’t reach orgasm regularly, then your problem is likely not just libido. Why would you look forward to something and want something that doesn’t feel very good?

For you, I’d strongly suggest The Orgasm Course instead.

Use the coupon code BYL (for Boost Your Libido) to get $20 off the course during the Boost Your Libido relaunch!

Take me there!

None of this is your fault. You’re growing up in a culture that makes sex seem ugly. Seem like an obligation. Seem like it’s not focused on you at all.

Is it any wonder why we don’t want it?

But wouldn’t you like it to be different?

Do you remember when you were dreaming of getting married, and you were picturing long, luxurious Saturday mornings when you would stay in bed–and not sleep? You pictured jumping your husband when he got home from work. You pictured making out while watching a movie–and not finishing the movie.

And now if he kisses you during a movie it’s a huge turn off.

Can sex become something that’s spontaneous again? Can it become something you actually want?

That’s what we want to help you with.

We’ve analyzed sex in Christian marriages and told you what was wrong. Now we want to get practical and help you make it better!

Take me to the Boost Your Libido Course!

And we’ve got it for $10 off during this launch week! 

The Relaunch Special is Only Available until July 5!

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I try to keep my courses super affordable, because I want to help as many people as possible.

And whenever you buy my courses, you get lifetime access. When I update them, you get access to that too!

Sex was meant to be something amazing in your marriage, and I know what it’s like to feel like sex is a huge disappointment. A letdown. Like everyone else is lying to you about how excited they are about it.

I also know what it’s like to get to the other side.

I hope I can help you figure out what all the fuss is about as well!

After this month of posts on libido, what do you think is women’s biggest libido killer? Let’s talk in the comments!

What's Killing Women's Libido? Series15 Things that Kill Libido for WomenA Tale of Three Brains and LibidoHow Brakes and Accelerators Influence LibidoWhat are Responsive vs. Spontaneous Libidos?PODCAST: Have we made sex a yes space for men?PODCAST: What's killing women's libido? (coming at the end of the month)Don't miss our sexual confidence series, too!Our revamped Boost Your Libido course is Live!Get $10 off until July 5 at midnight!  Sheila Wray Gregoire

Founder of To Love, Honor and Vacuum

Sheila is determined to help Christians find BIBLICAL, HEALTHY, EVIDENCE-BASED help for their marriage. And in doing so, she's turning the evangelical world on its head, challenging many of the toxic teachings, especially in her newest book The Great Sex Rescue. She’s an award-winning author of 8 books and a sought-after speaker. With her humorous, no-nonsense approach, Sheila works with her husband Keith and daughter Rebecca to create podcasts and courses to help couples find true intimacy. Plus she knits. All the time. ENTJ, straight 8 FacebookTwitter Related Posts Does Every Marriage Need a Captain? Do Husbands Need to Make the Decisions?

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