bluegrasskitty:
crashional-thinker:
hummerous:
Wait so ...
Wait so if love at first sight is a thing, is the opposite.. also.. a thing?
Like, you look at someone and immediately just hate everything about them?
This happened with me & my sister’s 1st husband. Met him. Hated him on sight. Everyone (but my husband, who trusts my gut more than I do) tried to convince me he was wonderful.
My mother even so far as to say “He’s just authoritative & you’ve always had issues with strong men.”
(This was a lie, BTW. My issues, so-called, had been with the endless parade of pathetic, controlling, bullies she routinely married, but I digress.)
Anyway, cut to five years later. He’s got her isolated from the family. We see her maybe twice a year. He’s constantly trying to get her to quit her sport of choice. She doesn’t seem like herself any more. I personally offer to “assist” her if she needs help & I get the brush off. Her husband basically pats me on the head & says it’s “adorable” how protective I am of my big sister. I tell him to not touch me again unless he’d like to know how a compound fracture feels. He laughs.
Then she decides she needs a baby. He doesn’t want to (his son from a previous marriage was already grown). Eventually he agrees but there’s fertility issues. So they begin the adoption process. My sister is clearly miserable & won’t admit it. I finally tell my mother to stop telling me all about it because I can’t take it.
Then my sister discovers the truth.
He’d been cheating on her with one of her best friends. A literal bridesmaid at her wedding. Almost from the jump. Bought her Tiffany’s or a new Coach purse after every indiscretion & she had a whole closet full.
& he’d knocked the girl up. Because ofc he had.
The divorce was exceedingly acrimonious, as you might imagine.
Everybody was all “OMG we should’ve listened to you!!!” but they still didn’t. They just wouldn’t. Ever. Now we don’t speak at all because they were a conduit for toxicity & I was exhausted playing Cassandra for them. Had to cut ‘em loose.
So yeah. The point is, hate at first sight is real & you should heed it. (& also read “The Gift of Fear” if you haven’t already.)
I can get along with people from all walks of life. I’m not saying we’re all best friends, but I can navigate a dry intro from a second cousin to whoever.
So, when I get that feeling—it’s indescribable, but it’s what’s being discussed above: immediate dislike or even hate—it means something. And my good friends started clocking it.
Like, back in the day they’d say, “Hey, that guy Joe that Cassandra’s dating seems pretty rad.” And I’d be like, “Seemed like a fucking dick-hole to me.” Then, it’d turn out he’s a wife beater or a closet racist or some shit.
It’s not a superpower. It’s just an instinct some people have. I lack other instincts, so I assume it cosmically balances out.
Anyway, now my friends who know I can get along with anyone notice when I don’t. If someone rubs me that wrong way, good money is on the probability that person is garbage.
And I have never ever been wrong.
