5 Messages to Pastors Struggling with Mental Health

This post is focused on the topic of mental health in the lives of pastors today. For that reason, I feel it necessary to include the following warning for those who could potentially have adverse reactions to the topics addressed.

Trigger Warning: Mental Health, Depression, Suicide

Let’s get something out of the way right up front…I really don’t want to write about this.

Please understand I believe this to be an important topic that needs to be addressed openly and honestly. This is a topic that has often gone ignored, avoided, or stigmatized. This is a topic that needs to be approached in a way that removes the fear of judgment, alienation, or the threat of punishment.

But still…I admit that I really don’t want to write about it.

Earlier this year I wrote a brief post addressing how I wrestle with the issue of depression.  There I recognized that sometimes when I have spoken about my own struggles, I have experienced God’s light shining in the dark corners of others’ lives. Yet, there have also been other times when those who I thought would be lifelong friends disappeared from my life entirely.

When I talk about mental health issues I not only am admitting one of my own struggles, but I also have zero control over how those on the other end will receive the message.

And yet…I continue to feel prompted by God to address the topic of mental health in ministry. I feel led to present how a church family can support a pastor who struggles with their mental health. I feel pushed to drag this isolating sickness that plagues so many, out of the corners of darkness and into God’s redeeming light.

I am not a therapist or a counselor. I am, however, a pastor of over 15 years that has experienced a myriad of reactions in the church to the topic of mental health. To that end, I would like to communicate five messages to pastors who are wrestling with their own issues of mental health.

1) Your brain can be quite a jerk

Author Jon Acuff playfully makes this statement in his book Soundtracks. While Acuff was writing about the topic of overthinking, the principle applies to mental health as well. Acuff points out that, for some reason, just because an idea pops into our heads we have a tendency to believe it. Rarely do we stop to challenge the statement, instead we just assume that because it popped up, we need to listen to that thought. Here are a few examples of statements (or “soundtracks” to borrow from Acuff) that you may hear your brain telling you over and over when struggling with your mental well-being.

All you do is screw up. Literally, nothing you do is right.No one understands what you’re going through.You’re going to be the reason your kids are messed up.You don’t deserve to talk about this. No no no…you deserve to feel this way.Your church/family/spouse/kids/etc would be so much better off if you weren’t here. In fact, it would just be better for everyone if were not alive anymore.

Any of those statements said in isolation, probably seems ludicrous and easy to ignore. However, I can tell you from experience that any message repeated moment after moment, hour after hour, day after day begins to feel less like a foreign intruder and more like an insulting roommate that you’ve just resigned myself to live with. After a while, those statements begin to feel like they are genuinely part of your identity.

For all this reason I want you to hear…your brain may be acting like a jerk right now. When you hear messages like this, you do NOT have to just accept the ideas without question.

To that end, the second message I want to convey is this…

2) You are NOT alone

Depression, and other similar mental health struggles, have this unique aspect of wanting the afflicted to feel isolated. For instance,  my depression loves to create a specific sort of tension inside me. On one hand,  I know one of the best steps I can take to weaken depression of its influence on my life is to talk with others that I trust and who I know to love me. On the other hand, depression tells me that I’m unworthy to have someone listen to my struggles. It will tell me no one cares, no one is interested.

If you struggle with depression, anxiety, bipolar disorder, or something entirely different, I want you to know you are not alone. Despite what your brain may be telling you, despite how you may feel, there are many others who navigate the treacherous waters of mental health struggles.

There are those who can relate. There are those who fight their own internal enemy. There are those who get it.

3) You may not realize the impact of your mental health struggles

Please understand that I do not say this to guilt or shame you in any way. That is not my intention.

For several years I have been taking steps to improve my own emotional health. Part of that journey, however, has included realizing the residual effects of my unhealthy condition. These impacts were both internal (unhealthy methods I was using to cope), as well as external (how I was impacting those around me).

Looking back, I can see how many methods I was using personally to try and deal with my struggle. Video games, house projects, sleeping, computer repair, and busy work for the church were just some of the areas I turned to take my focus off the chaos going on inside of me. None of those are inherently wrong in and of themselves. I, however, was using them to numb my invisible pain.

Once you learn what my internal life was like, it’s not hard to see how this impacted the relationships around me. My loving, faithful wife bore the brunt of my tumultuous moods. My sons had a dad who was either detached or characterized by erratic behavior. My church staff seemed to feel like I was always angry. And in a way, I was…just not at them.

None of this was intentional. In fact, it was not even that I was avoiding help, I thought others were better at facing this common battle than I was. It has only been taking steps toward emotional health that I have recognized how significant the impacts were.

Again, I don’t want this to come across as a lecture or statement to trigger shame. I simply want to impress upon you the importance of taking steps to become healthy. And that may mean confronting a common misconception.

4) Getting help does NOT mean you are weak or less spiritual

As a pastor, I have spoken publicly on various occasions about my mental health struggles. And, unfortunately, not everyone is sympathetic. Mental health still carries a stigma in some circles, and unfortunately, the church can be that way at times.

While I have usually received support, there have been those who have been less encouraging with their responses. How well-meaning they were, I cannot say. However, I too have had individuals encourage me to just “choose to be happy” or “have the joy of the Lord.”

Some could not fathom that a pastor, especially THEIR pastor, would deal with such an issue.

The list of problems with this line of thinking is quite extensive. However, here are a few quick points about that:

While there were no psychologists during the time of the Bible, there is significant reason to believe that a variety of Biblical characters dealt with their own mental health struggles. David, Jonah, Elijah, and Jeremiah are just some of the most noteworthy examples.If you are having trouble breathing, chewing, walking, lifting your arm, using the restroom, or anything else, it only makes sense for you to visit a doctor. Once there, the doctor will recommend steps to improve your condition. This may involve physical therapy, medication, or in some cases surgery. There is no reason to treat the brain and emotions, both considered to be a part of our bodies, as though they are something to be ignored rather than cared for.

I realize you are unlikely to change the minds of those around you with such arguments. However, that’s not my intention. My intention is to ensure YOU receive this message. Seeking help through therapy, medication, or other means does not mean you are somehow weak or less spiritual than those around you.

Finally, I have one more message I want to share with you, fellow pastor, who is navigating this mental health struggle.

5) You CAN have hope for a brighter future

I am several years into my mental health journey. I do not have all the answers. I do, however, have the perspective of someone who has traveled quite a long way down the road.

There is hope…

There can be a day in the future when you do not feel that exhausting invisible pressure. There can be a day when the voices which now seem to shout every waking moment feel more as if they are barely audible. There can be a day when that feeling that the world would be better off without you can be disregarded as an outright lie from the enemy.

It will be a journey. Not every day will be peaches and sunshine. There is, however, hope for a life not dictated by the chaos you currently feel within.

For mental health resources in your area visit the National Alliance on Mental Illness.

If you are having suicidal thoughts, text HOME to 741741.
A trained volunteer at the National Crisis Text Line will anonymously help you navigate whatever crisis you are going through.