If society collapsed today, what would you miss most?
I've been thinking a lot about this the past 3 years as my wife and I prepare for societal collapse. My latest novel "The God Virus" is centered on The Big Collapse. But just because I'm prepared, that doesn't necessarily mean I'm ready.
In fact, I thought I was quite ready until 4 days ago when our hot water heater went out. The first day I did nothing, which, of course, resulted in all of us taking ice-cold showers. Ouch! But I'm tough, so I handled it.
The second day I replaced the thermocoupler on the hot water heater, but still ... no hot water. Once again, I took an ice shower. I could hear my wife laughing in the bedroom as she listened to my wet, icy screams. That was cold of her.
I find it amazing that some people accuse me of being too much like my tough, masculine main characters, but I don't see it. My main characters don't whimper in a cold shower, they suck it up and relish in the discomfort. Nope. I'm not like my main characters at all. Maybe 30 years ago, but not at 54 years old. I'm a wimp. I'm a wuss. I want my hot shower.
Finally, this morning I refused to take another cold shower. I spent almost an hour boiling water and carrying it upstairs to the bath tub. After all that, I still had only 6 inches of water, but at least it was a tad warmer than room temperature.
I always laugh at some of my cowboy western novelists, because their characters are always so clean. There they are, out on the range for weeks, sitting on a smelly, insect-ridden horse, sleeping on the ground, nothing but water in a canteen. Then they ride majestically into a frontier town and a beautiful, clean-smelling, well groomed woman runs out to meet him and jumps into his arms.
I don't buy it.
But you might remind me of Samuel Coleridge and his "willing suspension of disbelief". Sorry. That's just too much suspension for me. That cowboy smells bad, and, if truth be told, the woman probably smells bad too.
I remember reading somewhere that frontier families took baths only once a year, starting with the father, then the mother, then the children from oldest to youngest - all in the same bath water.
I always thought "What lousy parents! They should let the kids bathe first!"
So, this morning, after I was done with my bath, I let my two younger ones take a bath as well. Okay, so I'm a hypocrite. The thought occurred to me, "Maybe there was some wisdom out there on the frontier?" After all, how many times does a 2-year-old pee in the bath tub? I wasn't taking any chances.
So, to answer the question "What would I miss most?" - hot water! - without a doubt. True, I would miss my Mountain Dew and Frappuccino, electric lights, my laptop, Twinkies, and even my Kindle, but ... there's just no way I can live without a hot bath every morning.
What about you? What would you miss most?
Skip Coryell
Published on March 27, 2012 15:33