The Tuesday Buildup--Excerpt Time!
Enjoy!
"Well, you've gone and done it this time,haven't you, girl?" Isquinted, turning my head in an effort to find the source of the voice. Themovement caused waves of pain, sharp and stinging, until even breathing hurt."How many times did your daddy and I tell you to not go wandering off intotrouble?"
"Mama?" Icroaked the single word, my throat dry and aching.
"Isn't hermother dead?" LaLa's voice broke into my consciousness, overlapping with therunning diatribe coming from Mama. "Mike, you need to keep her still. I'm goingto have a difficult time with this as it is."
"Cari, you needto hold still." Mike's voice and Mama's blended together, her cool touchsomehow merging with his shaking hands where he pressed on my shoulders. "We'retrying to help you here."
I kicked out, myfoot connecting with something. The grunt of pain did nothing to help my risingpanic. "Let me go, let me go, let me go."
"Steven, couldyou stop limping around like a fucking baby and help here?" A second set ofhands joined Mike while two more grabbed at my legs. "She's already lost a lotof blood, every time she struggles she loses more."
"Baby, I'msorry. I can't let you go." Salty liquid splashed on my lips, the rest of histears filling Mike's voice. "I know it hurts and I'm sorry but I can't let yougo."
"I'm trying,baby girl. Your daddy and I are trying so hard to let you go. It's not like wedon't have better things to do other than ride herd on you." Mama's voiceechoed in my ears, somehow managing to drown out every other noise. "But younever stop being a parent, baby girl, and that's a cold, hard fact."
"Why can't Idecide?" Tears rolled down my cheeks—mine, Mike's, maybe Mama's. "I just wantto be able to choose."
"You do what youhave to do, baby girl." Lips pressed against my forehead, the pressure familiarand bittersweet. "You always did. No point in anyone thinking you're going tochange now."
Heat blazedthrough me and I drew in a deep breath, screamed it back out at the top of mylungs. The sound tapered off into a whimper and I tried to struggle, to beanywhere but there, but too many people held me down now. The second blast ofheat robbed me of even the ability to scream even as my head began to clear.The third and final burst made pinpricks of light explode behind my closedeyelids even as the dark began to spin dizzily.
"Oh, hell no."My eyelids flew open at the sudden crack of a palm against my cheek. LaLastared down at me, her eyes narrowed, the look in them somewhere betweenworried and annoyed. "You do not get to pass out after I just saved your life.You better stay awake long enough to at least say thank you."
"Fuck you." Iflicked my tongue over my lips to moisten them, worked up enough energy to baremy teeth at her. "Sideways."
"Close enough." Herhands probed at my chest, pinching in some spots, poking at others. "You shouldknow, you've been flashing a dozen or so people for the last half hour."
"If Mason ishere, I'll kill him." I rolled my neck, sighing when my cheek came into contactwith the cold cobblestone. "I've managed to keep my tits away from hislecherous eyes all my goddamn life."
"Then this wouldbe the wrong time to mention that Mason is holding down one of your legs,wouldn't it?" LaLa centered my head, opening my eyelids wide with her fingers."And don't worry, I have a feeling he was too distracted by the blood andribcage and jagged skin to really get a good look at what you've got."
"Let me up." Ipushed against the hands again, found myself still held firmly in place. "Letme up, goddamnit."
"If you passout, I'm letting you hit your head. And when you wake up, you'll have a bitchof a headache." Still, LaLa gestured to the men, easing away from me. Thepressure on my limbs disappeared and I slowly struggled to a sitting position.Behind me, LaLa snorted. "Showoff."
"I repeat, fuckyou." I turned to look at Mike, his face solemn and tear streaked. "I want togo out to the farm."
"Cari, it'slate, and you really shouldn't be moving so much--."
Bending myknees, I leaned forward, bracing my palms against the ground. Ever so slowly, Irose, swaying for a moment when I finally stood straight. My head spun and mystomach churned, my hands shaking as I clutched the tattered remains of myshirt around me. "I'm going. You can either go with me or I'll get there on myown."
Mike stared atme, finally rising from his crouch after a long moment. "Fine."
As I limped backto the church and his car, Mike walking silently beside me while the otherstrailed behind, I replayed my conversation with Mama. And tried to decide ifshe'd been stating the obvious or giving me permission to do something thatmight ruin everyone's life.
"Well, you've gone and done it this time,haven't you, girl?" Isquinted, turning my head in an effort to find the source of the voice. Themovement caused waves of pain, sharp and stinging, until even breathing hurt."How many times did your daddy and I tell you to not go wandering off intotrouble?"
"Mama?" Icroaked the single word, my throat dry and aching.
"Isn't hermother dead?" LaLa's voice broke into my consciousness, overlapping with therunning diatribe coming from Mama. "Mike, you need to keep her still. I'm goingto have a difficult time with this as it is."
"Cari, you needto hold still." Mike's voice and Mama's blended together, her cool touchsomehow merging with his shaking hands where he pressed on my shoulders. "We'retrying to help you here."
I kicked out, myfoot connecting with something. The grunt of pain did nothing to help my risingpanic. "Let me go, let me go, let me go."
"Steven, couldyou stop limping around like a fucking baby and help here?" A second set ofhands joined Mike while two more grabbed at my legs. "She's already lost a lotof blood, every time she struggles she loses more."
"Baby, I'msorry. I can't let you go." Salty liquid splashed on my lips, the rest of histears filling Mike's voice. "I know it hurts and I'm sorry but I can't let yougo."
"I'm trying,baby girl. Your daddy and I are trying so hard to let you go. It's not like wedon't have better things to do other than ride herd on you." Mama's voiceechoed in my ears, somehow managing to drown out every other noise. "But younever stop being a parent, baby girl, and that's a cold, hard fact."
"Why can't Idecide?" Tears rolled down my cheeks—mine, Mike's, maybe Mama's. "I just wantto be able to choose."
"You do what youhave to do, baby girl." Lips pressed against my forehead, the pressure familiarand bittersweet. "You always did. No point in anyone thinking you're going tochange now."
Heat blazedthrough me and I drew in a deep breath, screamed it back out at the top of mylungs. The sound tapered off into a whimper and I tried to struggle, to beanywhere but there, but too many people held me down now. The second blast ofheat robbed me of even the ability to scream even as my head began to clear.The third and final burst made pinpricks of light explode behind my closedeyelids even as the dark began to spin dizzily.
"Oh, hell no."My eyelids flew open at the sudden crack of a palm against my cheek. LaLastared down at me, her eyes narrowed, the look in them somewhere betweenworried and annoyed. "You do not get to pass out after I just saved your life.You better stay awake long enough to at least say thank you."
"Fuck you." Iflicked my tongue over my lips to moisten them, worked up enough energy to baremy teeth at her. "Sideways."
"Close enough." Herhands probed at my chest, pinching in some spots, poking at others. "You shouldknow, you've been flashing a dozen or so people for the last half hour."
"If Mason ishere, I'll kill him." I rolled my neck, sighing when my cheek came into contactwith the cold cobblestone. "I've managed to keep my tits away from hislecherous eyes all my goddamn life."
"Then this wouldbe the wrong time to mention that Mason is holding down one of your legs,wouldn't it?" LaLa centered my head, opening my eyelids wide with her fingers."And don't worry, I have a feeling he was too distracted by the blood andribcage and jagged skin to really get a good look at what you've got."
"Let me up." Ipushed against the hands again, found myself still held firmly in place. "Letme up, goddamnit."
"If you passout, I'm letting you hit your head. And when you wake up, you'll have a bitchof a headache." Still, LaLa gestured to the men, easing away from me. Thepressure on my limbs disappeared and I slowly struggled to a sitting position.Behind me, LaLa snorted. "Showoff."
"I repeat, fuckyou." I turned to look at Mike, his face solemn and tear streaked. "I want togo out to the farm."
"Cari, it'slate, and you really shouldn't be moving so much--."
Bending myknees, I leaned forward, bracing my palms against the ground. Ever so slowly, Irose, swaying for a moment when I finally stood straight. My head spun and mystomach churned, my hands shaking as I clutched the tattered remains of myshirt around me. "I'm going. You can either go with me or I'll get there on myown."
Mike stared atme, finally rising from his crouch after a long moment. "Fine."
As I limped backto the church and his car, Mike walking silently beside me while the otherstrailed behind, I replayed my conversation with Mama. And tried to decide ifshe'd been stating the obvious or giving me permission to do something thatmight ruin everyone's life.
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