What’s the Holdup with A Lasting Prospect?

I finally admit it: I’m in a hell of a writing rut when it comes to A Lasting Prospect.

During the editing process for A Fatal Prospect, multiple early readers suggested I make some changes that even now don’t sit right with me. There was a method to my madness, but because so many people suggested these things, I felt I should probably change them.

SPOILERS AHEAD!

Originally, Bryce’s rapists were 17 and 18 years old. This subplot was based on the Tennessee case from a few years back. Several players on a high school basketball team went to a conference and, during that field trip, raped one of their teammates. It made national news. The rapists got away with a slap on the wrist and, as far as I know, none of the adult chaperones or coaches were held accountable.

I wrote this into A Fatal Prospect because I wanted to make the point that we have to hold people accountable for rape, regardless of age, or potential, or status. But it was suggested to me by multiple early readers that it wasn’t cool to “kill kids,” as if I was going out into the world and slaying innocent children with my own two hands. Still, I changed it, because I didn’t want to get nailed with one-star reviews. It was suggested to me that I age them up a little and tone down the revenge scene, so I did, and now I regret it. The revenge scene was pivotal and what I ended up with is a watered down version where Cliff seems emasculated and the victim Bryce is not empowered because it’s Olivia, Donny, and Stixx who kill his abusers. (By the way, a gunshot just seems too easy to me, even a year after publishing book. The original revenge was an eye for an eye, much more gory.)

Speaking of Olivia, she was supposed to lose her baby. She’s long struggled with her relationship with her mother and she’s always thought she could never be a mother. When Lucy is murdered and Olivia gets custody of her daughter, she’s convinced she won’t be able to love Bunny right. This is triggered further by her learning that she is pregnant with Cliff’s baby.

In the original version of A Fatal Prospect, Olivia chooses to have an abortion so that she can focus on Bunny and go get Cliff. I know so many women who had to abort a pregnancy so they could care for their living children, so it was important to me to include this; it’s a very real concern that Olivia had. She’s worried that she doesn’t have the emotional and financial resources to raise two babies at once. She’s worried that being pregnant would only slow her down during the rescue op, potentially putting herself, Cliff, and the others at risk. She’s also worried that she’d just lose the pregnancy anyway, from the stress of everything. This creates a rift between her and Cliff but it teaches her that she actually really wants to be a mother. It becomes the catalyst to the ending I always planned for: Cliff, Olivia, Bunny, and baby Ruth.

But early readers did not like the abortion storyline. They suggested I either change it to a miscarriage or save the pregnancy altogether.

I was under a deadline to fulfill pre-orders, struggling with my own grief, and in the middle of a flareup that’d landed me in the ICU, so I quite honestly just wanted to be done with this book. And I caved. I wish I hadn’t, because now I’m not sure how to write A Lasting Prospect. Everything I carefully planned for throughout writing this series no longer works.

It’s tricky, balancing readers’ expectations and desires with your own artistic vision. There are lots of things I’m trying to say with this story, about rape, and revenge, and love, and now I feel stifled. It’s my own fault, because I should’ve pushed back the release date and tried to figure out another way. (I have a fantastic editor and beta readers who would’ve gladly helped me figure this out. I’m not blaming them at all for my final revisions, and I very much appreciate their feedback—then, now, and always.) I can’t go back and change it. What’s done is done. But I’m really struggling with balancing it all. It’s not for lack of trying; I’ve written and scrapped many thousands of words for this book.

I’m sure I’ll come up with a solution. I always do. In the meantime, I’ve been working on other things, and I’m probably just going to start publishing them. You can’t build a career by being hung up on one book, stubbornly refusing to publish anything else until you figure it out. That’s crazy, and I think we can all agree I’m crazy enough without that additional pressure.

On the plus side, A Fatal Prospect has really good reviews, so making those changes might’ve been the right move after all.

Start the series now with your free copy of A Disturbing Prospect!