Writing Blurbs
So let’s talk about blurbs, those short pithy book descriptions that are supposed to make you want to buy the book.
But before I do that, I need a favor: Look at the fourth rough draft of the Lavender’s Blue blurb below and tell me what you think. Then I’ll tell you what I think about blurbs in general and show you the four drafts of this one. Because I need a blog entry, that’s why. Also I need feedback on the blurb because it’s not right yet.
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The last thing Liz Danger wants to do is go home to the place where she grew up, Burney, Ohio, a town full of gossip and snobbery, not to mention the mother who makes her feel guilty, the ex-boyfriend who dumped her three times, and the police chief who hates her. Too bad her car breaks down there.
The last thing Vince Cooper needs is a former juvenile delinquent who makes his boss surly and the peaceful town he polices start to stir. Even worse, she makes him start to stir.
But over the next week Liz and Vince will deal with rumor, politics, an endangered dog, adultery, great diner food, murder, and . . . well not love, neither Liz nor Vince has time for love, but something. Good thing it’s temporary.
Probably.
Lavender’s Blue
Would it kill you to go home and see your mother?
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So what does a blurb have to do?
In 150 to 200 words or less,
• Introduce the protagonist and characterize them so the reader wants to read the book.
• Foreshadow the conflict as something interesting and complicated enough that the reader wants to read the book.
• Give enough information about setting, genre, mood, and tone that the reader knows if it’s the kind of book she wants to read.
The basic story of Lavender’s Blue is about a woman who goes back to her home town, meets a great guy, and changes her life. Yeah, it’s been done. So this blurb has to undercut that expectation, making sure that anybody reading it knows that Burney is not a charming seaside resort and Liz will not be opening a bakery. The tone has to be in my voice (sorry, Bob, who’s not sorry because he didn’t want to write the blurb) to communicate the tone of the book, but the words have to do everything else. This is not easy, people. It took me four drafts to get the above blurb and its not right yet (which is why I want to know what you think).
You can stop reading here, but if you want to see all the drafts so far, here they are, starting with the first one.
DRAFT ONE
The last thing Liz Danger wants to do is go home to the place where she grew up, Burney, Ohio, a town full of gossip, snobbery, betrayal, the ex-boyfriend who dumped her three time, and the police chief that hates her. But she hasn’t been home in fifteen years, and it’s her mother’s birthday, and it’s on the way to Chicago where she will be joining the celebrity whose autobiography she’s ghostwriting, so what could it hurt to stop by for an hour, eat some cake, hand over the five foot bear she bought, be a good daughter for once? Then she sees the Burney town sign and floors it, running away from her past, which gets her picked up for speeding by a fairly attractive cop and then proceeds to kill her car. Fine, she’ll go see her mother and stay for one night to get her car fixed. After all, it’s her mother’s birthday. And that cop is actually very attractive.
The last thing Vince Cooper needs in town is a former juvenile delinquent that makes his boss surly and the town start to stir. It’s a peaceful little place and he likes it that way and he makes damn sure it stays that way. But there’s something stirring under that peace, and it stirs even more when Liz Danger comes to down. The town’s not the only thing stirring below. He can see why Liz stirs up trouble, she’s definitely stirring it up in him.
Over the next week all that turmoil comes to the surface in gossip, politics, dogs, adultery, great diner food, murder, and, well not love, neither Vince or Liz is interested in love, and they’ve got too much on their hands dealing with all the insanity of others to think about how much their hands on on each other. But when everything blows up at the end, they’re going to have to make some decisions about their lives, about their futures and about each other.
Lavender’s Blue
Would it kill you to go home and see your mother?
346 words
DRAFT TWO
The last thing Liz Danger wants to do is go home to the place where she grew up, Burney, Ohio, a town full of gossip, snobbery, betrayal, the ex-boyfriend who dumped her three time, and the police chief that hates her. Too bad her car breaks down there and she’s stuck.
The last thing Vince Cooper needs in town is a former juvenile delinquent that makes his boss surly and the town start to stir. Good thing it’s a peaceful little place that he makes damn sure stays that way.
But there’s are secrets stirring under that peace, and they stir even more when Liz Danger shows up. And the town’s not the only thing stirring below. Vince can see why Liz makes people come alive, she’s definitely doing it to him.
Over the next week all that turmoil comes to the surface in gossip, politics, dogs, adultery, great diner food, murder, and, well not love, neither Liz nor Vince is interested in love, and they’ve got too much on their hands dealing with all the insanity of others to think about how much they like their hands on on each other. But when everything blows up at the end, they’re going to have to make some decisions about their lives, about their futures and about each other.
Lavender’s Blue
Would it kill you to go home and see your mother?
232 words
DRAFT THREE
The last thing Liz Danger wants to do is go home to the place where she grew up, Burney, Ohio, a town full of gossip and snobbery, not to mention the mother who makes her feel guilty, the ex-boyfriend who dumped her three time, and the police chief that hates her. Too bad some cop picks her up for speeding past her memories, her car breaks down, and she’s stuck for the night.
The last thing Vince Cooper needs in the town he polices is a former juvenile delinquent that makes his boss surly and the town start to stir. Good thing it’s a peaceful little place, and he’s going to make damn sure stays that way.
But there are things roiling under the surface in Burney and thanks to Liz Danger, they come to light. Over the next week Liz and Vince deal with rumor, politics, dogs, adultery, great diner food, murder, and, well not love, neither Liz nor Vince is interested in love, and they’ve got too much on their hands dealing with all the insanity of others to think about how much they like their hands on on each other, but it’s something. Good thing it’s temporary.
Probably.
Lavender’s Blue
Would it kill you to go home and see your mother?
215 words
DRAFT FOUR
The last thing Liz Danger wants to do is go home to the place where she grew up, Burney, Ohio, a town full of gossip and snobbery, not to mention the mother who makes her feel guilty, the ex-boyfriend who dumped her three times, and the police chief who hates her. Too bad her car breaks down there. The last thing Vince Cooper needs is a former juvenile delinquent who makes his boss surly and the peaceful town he polices start to stir. Even worse, she makes him start to stir. But over the next week Liz and Vince will deal with rumor, politics, an endangered dog, adultery, great diner food, murder, and . . . well not love, neither Liz nor Vince has time for love, but something. Good thing it’s temporary.
Probably.
Lavender’s Blue
Would it kill you to go home and see your mother?
147 words
