The End of Whining
A Brief History of Several Boyfriends, is a collection of twenty-five table-turning stories, which dig deeply into the universal themes of innocence, infatuation, resignation, revenge, and rebirth. These stories, written and published over a period of 15 years, encompass many of the beliefs I have about women, which not everyone will agree with. Especially not women.
I hate to hear women whining about how their partners are possessive, disrespectful, and disloyal, how they hold women back, sabotaging their plans and ambitions. In Western Europe, at least, women do have choices. If a relationship is unsatisfactory, the woman has three options. She can step out of it, seek to repair it, or just put up with it. It’s her decision.
“Tess waited alone in her hotel, reading distractedly by the pool, watching old soaps and movies on TV, and all the time checking her phone for missed calls.”
In exchange for her ‘freedom,’ a woman may have to sacrifice or let go of something that she holds dear. That ‘something’ could be money, status, security, or even love. This takes courage and determination, but often it is preferable to be alone than to be in bad company. It may be better to be self-supporting rather than ‘kept’ or dependent. That, again, is the woman’s choice. There are costs linked to aspects of her life and she has to decide how much she is prepared to pay.
“Then one morning, after Mike had set off for work, Ruth put his stuff in a large box, his mug, his ties, his unread novels, his jacket, his shirt from the cleaners, his binoculars – why ever did he need binoculars? – and all the other things with which he had littered her home.”
If the woman decides to put up with her poor relationship, then whining and complaining is not an option, unless what she really wants is a life-long pity party, on-going sympathy from her friends and family for the terrible situation in which she has found herself.
“The man was having fine times at Christina’s expense.”
In life, women often stray knowingly into situations that they later regret. It’s part of the learning process. When it all goes wrong, they need to learn from their mistakes and move on. No blaming, pointing the finger, or feeling sorry for themselves. As the Italians say, sbagliando, s’impara – we learn from making mistakes. How else do we grow up and learn to make better decisions?
“’I’d like to invite you home for a nightcap,’ said Neville. It was, in short, a lapsus, though a spontaneous and pleasurable one.”
The women of A Brief History of Several Boyfriends, for the most part, become aware of the consequences of their actions, and take responsibility for them. When they are able to accept that no one is going to save them, they save themselves, or they adapt in order to deal with what they cannot change.
“Vivian packed her most precious things. The rest she left in orderly fashion in cartons of varying size.”
A Brief History of Several Boyfriends – Stories is available on amazon.co.uk
