Finding a Nice Routine

My work schedule is consistent. I work the same times Monday through Friday. I’m usually home by 5:00PM every weekday, which leaves me several hours to make dinner, eat, get some minor cleaning done, play with my puppy, read, and prepare for bed. And even though there are times when I don’t get the things done that I plan to, it’s comforting and helping to know that tomorrow will have the same number of hours in it.

Of course, right now I’m on my Spring break between spring and summer semesters, which means that on June 1st, I’ll have somewhat less time available every day after work. But really, I don’t mind the busyness. I like knowing I have things to do. And I like making time for the things that matter most to me. I’m learning how to give myself permission to not have to do everything in a single day. It’s okay to let some things trail into the next day.

My grades came in for Spring semester. I got an A in one class and a B in the other. And really, I’m perfectly fine with that. I’m relieved and happy that I’ve been learning how to manage my own expectations of myself, and that I’m learning how to prioritize the classes I’m taking, and recognize when it’s okay to not push myself to the point of exhaustion. This world is already exhausting enough on its own, let alone to someone with anxiety, depression, PTSD, and autism. I want my classes to be a source of joy and energy for me, not dread and annoyance.

I’m about a quarter of the way through Pet Semetary. It is an absolutely phenomenal book. So far, more intriguing than scary, but I think it’s building to the horror slowly. My goal is to finish it before the start of Summer semester. To be honest, I’d like to finish it this week, if I can and possibly get myself through another Stephen King novel before the semester starts. Especially since I’m taking a class on Monsters this coming semester, I think it would be great fun to have read a couple of novels about monsters beforehand. But we’ll see.

I’m also extremely grateful today to the handful of poets who have written blurbs about my debut collection of poetry. I’m waiting on a couple more blurbs to come in, but the ones that have already have absolutely blown me away. I honestly don’t even know how to process them, to be quite honest. The one I received yesterday compared my poems to that of Sharon Olds and Danez Smith, two of my favorite poets, and two of the poets who shaped my early relationship with poetry. She also encouraged me to send my manuscript to Sharon Olds, and I don’t know if I will, but fuck, just having that encouragement is incredibly motivating.

I still can’t really believe I’m going through this. It feels surreal, almost dream-like, to see my poetry received like this. I’m absolutely thrilled to see where the rest of this year takes me and my debut book of poetry. Remember: the world needs your art.