The Art of Trying

I was actually wondering whether or not I should write this particular post. I spent days thinking of whether or not people would be interested in reading something other than books’ and movies’ recommendations from me.

Of whether or not it would be something relevant to my blog’s content. I spent hours thinking how I should start the post, whether or not it could write itself.

And then… it dawned to me. It wouldn’t write itself if I did not sit down and write it myself. Just as a relationship, whether professional or intimate, would not nurture itself and flourish if both sides didn’t try for it.

So, here I am today, on this cloudy, May Saturday, to talk to you about the art of trying.

A few days ago, I went for breakfast with two old classmates and friends. We hadn’t seen each other for quite some time, yet that was understandable, at least to some extend, due to COVID and quarantines.

Yet, we were talking on the phone and texting one another, we knew what was going on in each other’s life and we genuinely wanted to schedule something and meet, now that things seem… calmer. And so we went for breakfast and, truth be told, it was fun.

Still, there was something missing… Someone was missing.

Back in Junior High and High School, there were four of us. We did pretty much everything together. Even when two of us left our hometown to go to college, all four of us still kept in touch, we still met on holidays and weekends. Because it felt normal, it felt as natural as breathing.

And I know what you’re going to say. That things change, people evolve, grow older and grow apart. Yet, if there’s effort from both sides, lifelong relationships can truly last, flourish and be cherished, loved.

Over the years though, I realised that everyone can try as much as the other person allows them to. At first, it seemed cruel to me, to think of it this way. However, the last two years proved to me how many people were taking me for granted and how things changed once I stopped trying to keep the relationship with them healthy and intact.

I know this now.

This was exactly the same with the one of our friends and old classmates. Once I stopped contacting her, she disappeared. No phone calls, no texts. Not even the typical ones on holidays.

But you know what? It’s fine. It is totally ok. Over the past two years I realised that I don’t want to waste my energy anymore on people that have proven to me that they don’t need or want me in my life. And that is fine. It is healthy. And it has made me see things from a whole new perspective.

Past Victoria would have told you she felt sad. That relationships, friendships are too important. That you should fight day and night for them. Trust me, I did. Oh Lord, how much I fought for certain relationships!

But I know now that trying should go both ways. It should be mutual for the relationship to last, be healthy and successful. Call me cruel all you want, folks, yet this is how I see things now. It is because I know that if you want a relationship that looks and feels like the most amazing thing on earth, you should treat it as it is the most amazing, precious thing on earth. This should go both ways. And, unfortunately, not everyone does that.

Let me know all your thoughts and feeling about this particular subject in the comment section down below. Have you ever been in a similar situation? How long and how much would you try if you saw that the other person in a relationship wasn’t as eager as you to try equally hard?

I look forward to discussing this subject with you all, read your thoughts and experiences.

Thank you all for stopping by once again. It honestly means the world to me and I want you to know that I most certainly don’t take your presence here for granted; I never will.

Have a wonderful weekend, awesome people, stay safe and stay positive.

Love you all, awesome nerds.

Till next time… Toodles!