On finding my groove again.

On my American wake. On little miracles.

On finding my groove again.

I’ve been home for a week. I’m not sure how adjusted I am because I’ve been on the go with Missy and Maddie. Luckily, I’ve finally carved out some time to write. I’m updating this blog (obviously) and worked on the beginning of my dissertation. I’m in a “support group” with some of my Irish friends/classmates: Jane, Aileen, Barbara, Maeve, and Anna. They were all in my workshop and they’re all SO talented. I know I’m in good hands and I really think it’s so cool how we all have such different styles. I sent about 2,000 words and the whole dissertation has to be 10,000 words, so to get 20% finished before June is a pretty awesome accomplishment.

I sent some corrections to my publisher before I left Ireland. I haven’t heard back yet, but I’m not worried. Honestly, I’m more worried about securing a place to live in New Jersey. I know I have plenty of places to stay, but I don’t want to be a burden. And honestly, I’m dying for a place of my own where I don’t have to live out of a suitcase and it’s not so temporary. I’ve been in transit for so long, I feel like I’ve forgotten how to behave.

Miracle Maddie

Maddie Girl’s having great days—very calm and looking so alert! Sometimes, it looks like she wants to tell us something so bad. I was so excited to go to her acupuncturist appointment with her and she did so well. Dad got specialty plates for the RV, a.k.a. the Miracle Maddie Mobile, and made us all cry. After Mother’s Day, Missy and Maddie and I traveled to Ability Plus Therapy for Maddie’s physical therapy and occupational therapy. She’s killing it there, too! We saw more range of motion in her hips and arms, and we noticed really impressive trunk support.

We’re currently in Orlando to attend the 5 Day- MNRI® HIE Trauma and Non-Fatal Drowning Recovery Family Conference. We’re meeting other families embarking on the same journey and it’s so important to not feel alone. Last night was tough for me and Missy. We both kept thinking about the horrible ordeal we survived in Louisiana and got trapped in the sadness in our heads. Maddie’s accident is a tragedy–that’s plain and simple. But what’s not simple is how that tragedy affects everyone. For me, I’d rather be angry than sad, but I’m sad most of the time. Going to Ireland changed me, but it didn’t change what I left or what I came back to.

No matter where you go, there you are.