Update III
Sunday 5th of April 2020
During today’s meditation I kept seeing geometric patterns, folding, forming, reshaping, dancing almost.
There have been mounted police officers patrolling, making sure people are staying in. It’s had the opposite effect, as it would in Bristol. People don’t like to be pressured into doing something they were already doing.
Why do I feel empty at night?
It creeps in slowly during the day, and then at night… Is it because I run out of things to do, to keep my mind busy and occupied? Or, is it a habit, a default setting my brain falls into when the sun sets?
I used to be such a night owl. I suppose I still am. I wake up when the sunsets, so to speak. The world belongs to me in the dark. The problem is I have nowhere to go and nothing to do now. My body longs to be outside at night, soaking every part of that blue-black in. Maybe that’s what’s wrong. Maybe that’s the void, the unfilled need.
But the night doesn’t belong to me anymore. I gave it up. I got too lost in it. Now, I stay close to home, away from the predators that lurk in what was once my bliss. Maybe it’s time to reclaim what’s mine.
