Me First! A Formula for Failure

Hmmm, is agitating to bealways at the front of the line the path to happiness and success?

I was on my 15 minute, mid-day walk around the block earlier this week. About halfway through it, I heard the sound of a fierce struggle between two birds. The squawking and shrieking was quite emphatic.

I turned around to look and spotted two Grackles engaged in a physical battle for dominance. Since this is their breeding season, it was most likely a battle between two males over a mate or a breeding territory. Both were so determined to prevail they became locked together, tumbled out of the tree in tandem and landed on the ground.

If you follow this blog regularly, you know that I filter all my experiences through the lens of metaphor. This mindset kicked in at the sight of the Grackles battling and presented them as a metaphor for an issue that has been on my mind lately.

We are in the midst of a time of festering discontent driven by many factors not the least of which is two years of living under pandemic restrictions. It seems that every other person now has an axe to grind and are speaking out (or acting out) vociferously. I hear a constant refrain:

Iam not being treated fairly. My concerns are not being heard. I am beingmarginalized. I am offended by what that person (or group) is saying (or notsaying.) I am not getting my fair share of government financial handouts.

It feels like each person expects and demands to be at the front of the line in terms of his or her needs. The burgeoning perception of entitlement to government handouts is particularly troubling. The result is constant conflict – a never-ending jockeying and battling for attention and for special status.

This situation is not sustainable for anyone. Clinging to this me-first mentality and continuing to expect someone to solve all of your problems becomes self-defeating. Like the battling Grackles, you will get hopelessly entangled with your fellow competitors and fall out of the race. It is a lose-lose scenario.

The happiest, heathiest and most successful people I know are self-sufficient. They take responsibility for their life, solve their own problems and blaze their own path. Sadly, there are fewer and fewer people in this category.

We all need help now and then – myself included. But a continuous me-first, prop me up, bail me out mentality is a guaranteed formula for failure.

The front of the line isa nice place to be. But your place there is not reserved and it is not anentitlement. Being the squeaky wheel works on occasion. But the wheel thatnever stops squeaking ends up being kicked to the curb and left there for good.

My advice: Learn tostand on your own two feet if you want to be truly happy. If you do so, helpwill come your way when you need it.

~ NowAvailable Online from Amazon, Chapters Indigo or Barnes & Noble: HuntingMuskie, Rites of Passage – Stories by Michael Robert Dyet

~ Michael Robert Dyet is alsothe author of Until the Deep Water Stills – An Internet-enhanced Novel whichwas a double winner in the Reader Views Literary Awards 2009. Visit Michael’swebsite at www.mdyetmetaphor.com .

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