Finding My People: Why You Should Make Writing Friends

The best way to power through any writing challenge or project, like NaNo, is to have a group of friends that can support you and cheer you on. R.L. Merrill, a long-time NaNo Participant, writes this article in honor of her writing friends, and encourages you to find them in little pockets of the world.

I’m Ro, I live in the East Bay, and I’m a People Collector. That’s right, I collect rad folks with special gifts and talents who make this world a better place. It’s not nearly as creepy as it sounds, I promise, although I do write horror stories from time-to-time when I’m not working on a romance to make you swoon or shiver. 

Let’s back up to June 2014 when I first attended a meeting of the San Francisco Area RWA chapter. I was greeted by two vivacious women who invited me to sit with them, which up until that point had been a rare occurrence in my life before joining the writing community known as Romancelandia. See, I was an educator for twenty-seven years, but I was always the one who tried to radicalize the staff to better meet the needs of the students. I’m usually that one weird mom at the PTA meetings who the others are nice to as long as I bring the right cupcakes to the party. 

Okay, I’m exaggerating slightly, but before I found the incredible folks at the SFARWA (now the Bay Area Romance Writers group) I never truly fit anywhere. Finding other writers was sort of like meeting the goth kids the first month of high school—or “mods” as we called them—and feeling like I’d found a safe group to hang out with when my fellow cheerleaders were sick of my straight hair and lack of makeup (I went to high school in the latter half of the 1980s). Writers are a diverse group by nature, and they are always willing to take up the shield when another is in peril (don’t believe me? Check out Twitter).

But back to SFARWA, I knew I’d found my place when I met Shannon. At one of the meetings in the early fall, she started talking about an intriguing enterprise known as “NaNo.” I had to ask her what it was all about. 

“Oh, sit with me and let me enlighten you.” I was told of this magical community online who support each other through the month of November as they attempt to complete a 50k novel in 30 days. I love a good challenge, so I followed the link she gave me to the NaNoWriMo site and beheld the beauty that is this community. 

During all of the Camps and NaNos I’ve participated in (16 and counting), l was supported by the many folks I’ve collected along the way. There’s Rachael and Sophie, the two SFARWA members who greeted me at my first meeting, Shannon, Karysa who coerced/coaxed me to join the board for our local chapter, Annabeth’s Rainbow Cabin members, the Bay Area Sexy S’mores, and members of the Inclusive Romance Project to name a few.  

Just as I collected these folks, they embraced me with all of my tattoos, pink hair, and heavy-metal-loving ways. Together we whined and “wahooed” each other and then celebrated completing our projects. My “collection” of people is vast. I’ve taken classes from some, invited some to share their experiences on my blog or on my Clubhouse chat with Amy Z. Chan on Friday mornings at 9 PDT (Yep, Amy is another friend I collected). I even have a “crew” of folks I chat with on Tuesday nights on Zoom to discuss the latest news in Romancelandia, the newest marketing/promotional strategies, and the bonkers plot bunnies that happen when I’m challenged…I love a good challenge. I love pushing myself to be a better writer, better friend, and better cheerleader. One of the things I always recommend to the newbie writers I work with is to check out the NaNo site. Whether it’s prompts you need, or some accountability, or maybe it’s knowing someone else is out there sitting behind a blank screen desperately wishing for those words to come, all of those things can be found through the NaNo community.  

Who are the people you’ve “collected” along your journey to becoming a writer? Have you told them how much they mean to you? This post is my way of honoring my people, and a reminder that there are people I’ve lost track of who could use a check-in. We need our people more than ever, and we need to let them know how much they mean to us. So find your people and get to NaNo-ing!

R.L. Merrill writes contemporary, paranormal, and supernatural tales to make you swoon and/or shiver. You can find her on social media, advocating for America’s youth, writing music reviews for HorrorAddicts.net, or headbanging at a rock show near her home in the San Francisco Bay Area! Stay Tuned…