Memory bomb 6: What a fool I've been
I wrote this memoir in the spirit of a Holocaust survivor: after enduring such an ordeal, the need to bear witness is strong. This happened; the world must know.
It's not as if I were going to learn anything from writing this book. No, surely after years of therapy, I've gleaned all possible lessons. It's the world that needs educating, not me.Or so I thought. But then, why was it so hard to write certain stories so that they made sense?
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Paul
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Mar 26, 2012 07:03AM
It sounds as if you're being too hard on yourself, and on your past. It is possible to see 90% of one's past as an immersion in "acting like a fool." But why should the "fool" part of past action overshadow the excitement and the trying, the learning, the growing and the non-judging-yourself part of it? Why even think about all the jerks who have flitted in and out of your life? Disclaimer: I'm still full of mild rage at some of the people I worked with 16 months ago. I still want to get even. By the way, am readi ng a superb novel/writer: "Mother's Milk" by Edward St Aubyn, very much a memoirish work. I think you'd like it; the writing alone is superb.
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