COURTEOUS GOODWILL

I’ve had a few hard weeks. Sleep has been hard. My knee is kinda a wreck. I see hurting people everywhere and I hate that. I want the world to be healthier and happier. But sigh… it’s a naive hope.

It wasn’t too long ago though that I couldn’t see past my own pains. My own heartaches. My own traumas. I was too busy trying to stay alive not because the world was trying to kill me but because mental illness was.

I used to hit walls when I hurt. Burn myself. Drink too much. Take too much NyQuil. When I got sober I became healthier, steadier, calmer, more balanced. I say more because getting sober was just a first step.

I had worries and fears from unresolved traumas I didn’t even know I still had. Therapy helped. Writing helped. Finding new buddies helped.

Another thing that helped was giving myself the grace that I so freely give to other people.

Grace.

Courteous goodwill as a daily practice isn’t as easy as it sounds. Because consequences don’t always allow for it. But we can try. I think.