The Fiver | The cheese curds and gravy on an already delicious plate of fries

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To paraphrase one of Chris Rock’s greatest jokes, Will Smith ain’t go crazy last night at the Oscars; Will Smith went Will Smith. Quite the spontaneous contemporary dance routine, though, huh? Remember, kids, violence is never the answer, especially if it’s going to subject everyone to a full week of hot takes, polarised op-eds and memes. Oh Will! How could you! The Fiver is also sad that the incident has instantly become the most famous and notorious on-stage hand-jaw-interface scenario in history, eclipsing that time Jerry Sadowitz took to the stage in Montreal and opened with “I tell you why I hate Canada, half of you speak French, and the other half let them” with predictable consequences. Sadowitz an acquired taste, to be fair.

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