Z like Zorro
The inevitable has happened:
I am in jail. (1)
To my mother, it was clear early on that this was where I was headed. For drugs, fights, robbery, mainly just for being stupid , she would have put it. What can I say? She was right, after all. My cell clicked closed today for something stupid, which is kind of disappointing, since I used to think if I was ever going to end up here, it would be for something memorable, lifechanging, relevant. Definitely for something better than a Z on a blue shirt, all over which I spilled red tomato sauce and white mayonnaise this morning.
You heard that right: what I was jailed three years for is a dirty, blue, kind of loose shirt, and looking at it right now, I cannot shake the feeling that the Z on it actually stands for Zero. That is not what it is supposed to mean, according to the people of the shop I bought it in. They said the meaning would be crystal clear to everyone at first glance:
Z like Zorro
It is a symbol for the fight against injustice, so they assured. Needless to say that I've been lied to. The Bavarian Department of Justice, at least, strongly disagreed with them and accused me of supporting injustice under international law. Huh? Confusion would be an understatement for what I felt.
"Injustice?" I asked, "What about it is injustice?"
After this, I heard my handcuffs click, and that was it for me.
"Outrageous to ask this question," they attacked me. "Anyone who cannot understand the injustice of it this matter is clearly a terrorist."
Being called a terrorist for wearing a misread Z and, no, they didn't misread it for a 3, like it would happen usually.
"But is it not my constitutional right to dress whichever way I like?"
When I asked exactly this, their eyes ripped me apart.
"Constitutional rights are our highest property," they said, "we honour the constitution. But constitutional law ends where criminal law begins." (2)
I let it sink in for a moment. A bad decision, because it got me thinking. About all the things they criminalize. They'd criminalized meeting up with more than five people because they could end up making you sick. They'd criminalized going out to places without a vaccination cert, criminalized walking public spaces without a mask, criminalized wearing Zs (3) because they could be misread as statements of support for the Russian war, and now I was being ostracized for asking a simple question: why?
No, I don't support any sort of war. No, I don't support autocracy, but neither can I bring myself to support a sham democracy. Maybe, in the end, I wasn't actually jailed for something stupid. Not so much for the violation of an arbitrarily introduced new law, but for my own fight against injustice.
Zorro would be proud.
- editor's notes-
(1) fictional story
(2). literal quote Bavarian Justice Department, 26.03.2022
(3) actual new law in parts of Germany as of March 2022
I am in jail. (1)
To my mother, it was clear early on that this was where I was headed. For drugs, fights, robbery, mainly just for being stupid , she would have put it. What can I say? She was right, after all. My cell clicked closed today for something stupid, which is kind of disappointing, since I used to think if I was ever going to end up here, it would be for something memorable, lifechanging, relevant. Definitely for something better than a Z on a blue shirt, all over which I spilled red tomato sauce and white mayonnaise this morning.
You heard that right: what I was jailed three years for is a dirty, blue, kind of loose shirt, and looking at it right now, I cannot shake the feeling that the Z on it actually stands for Zero. That is not what it is supposed to mean, according to the people of the shop I bought it in. They said the meaning would be crystal clear to everyone at first glance:
Z like Zorro
It is a symbol for the fight against injustice, so they assured. Needless to say that I've been lied to. The Bavarian Department of Justice, at least, strongly disagreed with them and accused me of supporting injustice under international law. Huh? Confusion would be an understatement for what I felt.
"Injustice?" I asked, "What about it is injustice?"
After this, I heard my handcuffs click, and that was it for me.
"Outrageous to ask this question," they attacked me. "Anyone who cannot understand the injustice of it this matter is clearly a terrorist."
Being called a terrorist for wearing a misread Z and, no, they didn't misread it for a 3, like it would happen usually.
"But is it not my constitutional right to dress whichever way I like?"
When I asked exactly this, their eyes ripped me apart.
"Constitutional rights are our highest property," they said, "we honour the constitution. But constitutional law ends where criminal law begins." (2)
I let it sink in for a moment. A bad decision, because it got me thinking. About all the things they criminalize. They'd criminalized meeting up with more than five people because they could end up making you sick. They'd criminalized going out to places without a vaccination cert, criminalized walking public spaces without a mask, criminalized wearing Zs (3) because they could be misread as statements of support for the Russian war, and now I was being ostracized for asking a simple question: why?
No, I don't support any sort of war. No, I don't support autocracy, but neither can I bring myself to support a sham democracy. Maybe, in the end, I wasn't actually jailed for something stupid. Not so much for the violation of an arbitrarily introduced new law, but for my own fight against injustice.
Zorro would be proud.
- editor's notes-
(1) fictional story
(2). literal quote Bavarian Justice Department, 26.03.2022
(3) actual new law in parts of Germany as of March 2022
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