Character Attack

The character struggled, swore, and eventually climbed his way out of my manuscript.

"YOU!" he yelled.

I sighed. This was going to be one of those writing days.

"You – arsehole!" he yelled at me.

"Hi, Les," I said, trying to act as though I hadn't heard the abuse.

"Don't patronise me, you towering, festering heap of dogshit!"

Maybe I shouldn't have given him such a way with words.

"What the hell do you think you're doing?"

Did I mention that the right side of his face is a weeping old burn that's...