Lighter Note

So Grey, who happens to be a big fan of epic fantasy literature, is painting the inside of my mom's new house across the street from mine. On the way to pick him up this morning, I noticed that Hollywood had invaded my neighborhood to film some picturesque squalor (cf. Ray Bradbury, "Sun and Shadow"). On our return trip, I discussed my plans to fight my way back onto my block if necessary.

ME: I don't suppose you'd hand me the great jackknife HEARTSBANE out of the glove compartment?

GREY: ... Um. No. No, I wouldn't.

ME (pulling out industrial-weight meat tenderizer I keep in my car door pocket): No matter! I WILL PREVAIL, because I wield the great warhammer BRAINBUSTER!!!

GREY (in despairing tones): I'm so glad you started reading fantasy, honey.