The Fiver | Generating the sort of publicity only badly-spent money can buy

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Arsenal haven’t been able to compete in their one-time eponymous round of Big Cup for a while now, but in their absence from top-flight European competition, PSG have done an admirable job in holding the fort at the last-16 stage. Getting regularly knocked out of the Round of PSG (né Arsenal) is one of the highest-profile gigs in football, generating the sort of publicity only badly-spent money can buy, so it’s not surprising that Manchester United fancied some time in the spotlight and a slice of the underperforming-dysfunctional-big-club pie. Move aside, Poch! Do one, Leo! If anyone can keep us entertained during extremely testing times, United know a few €50m-plus men who can!

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