Going Back to Cali--And Funnies From Me Mum (and a bonus)
so this song is really burrowing into my brain right now....
and this....
well, sure this too...
but really....
so if you hadn't guessed it, I'm headed west tomorrow. Hopping the (really fucking) early plane at Detroit and winging my way out to the Left Coast. It's ostensibly a "Pre-trip" to determine if I would ever be willing to live there. It's kind of a long story...for another time.
I personally plan to use the time on the plane and while said Unit is actually working to WRITE! Can't wait. Working on my follow up novel to The Realtors series (Closing Costs Book 3 releases in ARC March 25). here is a taste....because I am a tease....
The Young Rob.....
The Essence of Time. The Realtors: Book Four
taking it back a few years....
The room teemed and heaved with bodies, lights, booze and energy. Rob sipped from his red cup, observing, finding a target. As a pledge in the fraternity he had zero play. Less than zero really. But the female options in the room kept eyeballing him. So he felt good about his odds. He stood up straighter, arranged his face in "I don't give a shit" lines. Easy. He raised the cup to his likely target across the room, letting her see him flicker his gaze up and down her luscious form. "Nice one." Some guy moved up beside him. Rob glanced over, annoyed at the distraction. "Watch me work." The tall, gangly, black haired fellow pledge started towards Rob's target. But stopped when Rob put a firm hand on his arm.
"Hold up dude. That one's mine."
The guy looked back at him, his blue eyes twinkling. "Not likely." Rob raised an eyebrow.
"Watch me work, asshole. Take notes." And he made his way across the room, absorbing the eyes of every female as he narrowed in on the girl of the night.
Later, sitting on the roof of the Phi Kappa Tau house on the campus of Michigan State University, listening to the clamor of a busy college campus die down in the early morning hours of a Saturday, Rob looked over as his new friend crawled out of the nearest open window. He smiled at the guy, held up a hand. "Tag, my friend."
The guy slapped his hand, then stretched his long legs out, sighing with contentment. Rob took another hit of the joint, let the night air cool his bare chest. He turned, held out a hand. "Rob Frietag. Nice to meet you." The guy laughed so hard Rob was half afraid he'd tumble off the roof onto the quad below. Finally he stopped, and accepted what Rob passed over to him.
"Yeah, you too." He took a long hit, let the smoke trail out his nostrils before answering. "I think we may have hit on something here. She was…"
Rob kept his eyes trained on the horizon. "Worth the effort, I'd venture."
He took the joint back, shooting the guy he'd just double teamed a girl with a dark look. But the man's open, handsome face stared back, making Rob chuckle. "You got a name, partner?"
They both looked back at the female noises floating out of the window behind them. "Jack. Jack Gordon. And I think we have a lovely four years ahead of us." Rob turned away again, letting the combination of post-orgasm and weed coat his aching brain. Jack kept talking. "You are off the hook man. Truly. I though I had game but you, you define the word 'game'." Rob looked over his bare shoulder, taking in Jack's long lean torso, his jeans clad legs.
"I guess." He looked away again. "Sounds like you might be up again Jack."
Jack gave him a funny look and leaned up. "You okay?"
"Yeah Jack. I've got life by the throat. Every fucking day."
"Nice."He heard the man sigh, stand and go back inside, to the sounds of feminine squeals and deep, masculine laughter. And he sat, and contemplated how this new chapter of his life had started.
And we end Monday with a couple of super duper funnies....because I loves my followers/fans/readers/stalkers/creepers!
Here is the situationYou are on a Horse, galloping at a constant speed.
On your right side is a sharp drop off, and on your left side is an Elephant traveling at the same speed as you. Directly in front of you is a galloping Kangaroo and your horse is unable to overtake it. Behind you is a Lion running at the same speed as you and the Kangaroo.
...What must you do to safely get out of this highly dangerous situation?
See answer below.
Get your drunk ass off the merry-go-round.
and....
A group of 3rd, 4th, and 5th graders, accompanied by two female teachers, went on a field trip to Churchill Downs to learn about thoroughbred horses but mostly to see the horses.
When it was time to take the children to the bathroom, it was decided that the girls would go with one teacher and the boys would go with the other. The teacher assigned to the boys was waiting outside the men's room when one of the boys came out and told her that none of them could reach the urinal.
Having no choice, she went inside, helped the boys with their pants, and began hoisting the little boys up one by one, holding on to their 'wee-wees' to direct the flow away from their clothes.
As she lifted one, she couldn't help but notice that he was unusually well endowed.. Trying not to show
that she was staring the teacher said, 'You must be in the 5th grade.'
'No, ma'am', he replied. 'I'm riding Silver Arrow in the seventh race, but I appreciate your help.'
PLUS
A woman was having a daytime affair while her husband was at work. One rainy day she was in bed with her boyfriend when, to her horror, she heard her husband's car pull into the driveway.
'Oh my God - Hurry! Grab your clothes and jump out the window. My husband's home early!'
'I can't jump out the window. It's raining out there!'
'If my husband catches us in here, he'll kill us both!' she replied. 'He's got a hot temper and a gun, so the rain is the least of your problems!'
So the boyfriend scoots out of bed, grabs his clothes and jumps out the window! As he ran down the street in the pouring rain, he quickly discovered he had run right into the middle of the town's annual marathon, so he started running along beside the others, about 300 of them.
Being naked, with his clothes tucked under his arm, he tried to blend in as best he could. After a little while a small group of runners who had been watching him with some curiosity, jogged closer.
Do you always run in the nude?' one asked.
'Oh yes!' he replied, gasping in air. 'It feels so wonderfully free!'
Another runner moved a long side. 'Do you always run carrying your clothes with you under your arm?'
'Oh, yes' our friend answered breathlessly. 'That way I can get dressed right at the end of the run and get in my car to go home!'
Then a third runner cast his eyes a little lower and asked, 'Do you always wear a condom when you run?'
'Nope..just when it's raining.'
and this....
well, sure this too...
but really....
so if you hadn't guessed it, I'm headed west tomorrow. Hopping the (really fucking) early plane at Detroit and winging my way out to the Left Coast. It's ostensibly a "Pre-trip" to determine if I would ever be willing to live there. It's kind of a long story...for another time.
I personally plan to use the time on the plane and while said Unit is actually working to WRITE! Can't wait. Working on my follow up novel to The Realtors series (Closing Costs Book 3 releases in ARC March 25). here is a taste....because I am a tease....
The Young Rob.....
The Essence of Time. The Realtors: Book Four
taking it back a few years....
The room teemed and heaved with bodies, lights, booze and energy. Rob sipped from his red cup, observing, finding a target. As a pledge in the fraternity he had zero play. Less than zero really. But the female options in the room kept eyeballing him. So he felt good about his odds. He stood up straighter, arranged his face in "I don't give a shit" lines. Easy. He raised the cup to his likely target across the room, letting her see him flicker his gaze up and down her luscious form. "Nice one." Some guy moved up beside him. Rob glanced over, annoyed at the distraction. "Watch me work." The tall, gangly, black haired fellow pledge started towards Rob's target. But stopped when Rob put a firm hand on his arm.
"Hold up dude. That one's mine."
The guy looked back at him, his blue eyes twinkling. "Not likely." Rob raised an eyebrow.
"Watch me work, asshole. Take notes." And he made his way across the room, absorbing the eyes of every female as he narrowed in on the girl of the night.
Later, sitting on the roof of the Phi Kappa Tau house on the campus of Michigan State University, listening to the clamor of a busy college campus die down in the early morning hours of a Saturday, Rob looked over as his new friend crawled out of the nearest open window. He smiled at the guy, held up a hand. "Tag, my friend."
The guy slapped his hand, then stretched his long legs out, sighing with contentment. Rob took another hit of the joint, let the night air cool his bare chest. He turned, held out a hand. "Rob Frietag. Nice to meet you." The guy laughed so hard Rob was half afraid he'd tumble off the roof onto the quad below. Finally he stopped, and accepted what Rob passed over to him.
"Yeah, you too." He took a long hit, let the smoke trail out his nostrils before answering. "I think we may have hit on something here. She was…"
Rob kept his eyes trained on the horizon. "Worth the effort, I'd venture."
He took the joint back, shooting the guy he'd just double teamed a girl with a dark look. But the man's open, handsome face stared back, making Rob chuckle. "You got a name, partner?"
They both looked back at the female noises floating out of the window behind them. "Jack. Jack Gordon. And I think we have a lovely four years ahead of us." Rob turned away again, letting the combination of post-orgasm and weed coat his aching brain. Jack kept talking. "You are off the hook man. Truly. I though I had game but you, you define the word 'game'." Rob looked over his bare shoulder, taking in Jack's long lean torso, his jeans clad legs.
"I guess." He looked away again. "Sounds like you might be up again Jack."
Jack gave him a funny look and leaned up. "You okay?"
"Yeah Jack. I've got life by the throat. Every fucking day."
"Nice."He heard the man sigh, stand and go back inside, to the sounds of feminine squeals and deep, masculine laughter. And he sat, and contemplated how this new chapter of his life had started.
And we end Monday with a couple of super duper funnies....because I loves my followers/fans/readers/stalkers/creepers!
Here is the situationYou are on a Horse, galloping at a constant speed.
On your right side is a sharp drop off, and on your left side is an Elephant traveling at the same speed as you. Directly in front of you is a galloping Kangaroo and your horse is unable to overtake it. Behind you is a Lion running at the same speed as you and the Kangaroo.
...What must you do to safely get out of this highly dangerous situation?
See answer below.
Get your drunk ass off the merry-go-round.
and....
A group of 3rd, 4th, and 5th graders, accompanied by two female teachers, went on a field trip to Churchill Downs to learn about thoroughbred horses but mostly to see the horses.
When it was time to take the children to the bathroom, it was decided that the girls would go with one teacher and the boys would go with the other. The teacher assigned to the boys was waiting outside the men's room when one of the boys came out and told her that none of them could reach the urinal.
Having no choice, she went inside, helped the boys with their pants, and began hoisting the little boys up one by one, holding on to their 'wee-wees' to direct the flow away from their clothes.
As she lifted one, she couldn't help but notice that he was unusually well endowed.. Trying not to show
that she was staring the teacher said, 'You must be in the 5th grade.'
'No, ma'am', he replied. 'I'm riding Silver Arrow in the seventh race, but I appreciate your help.'
PLUS
A woman was having a daytime affair while her husband was at work. One rainy day she was in bed with her boyfriend when, to her horror, she heard her husband's car pull into the driveway.
'Oh my God - Hurry! Grab your clothes and jump out the window. My husband's home early!'
'I can't jump out the window. It's raining out there!'
'If my husband catches us in here, he'll kill us both!' she replied. 'He's got a hot temper and a gun, so the rain is the least of your problems!'
So the boyfriend scoots out of bed, grabs his clothes and jumps out the window! As he ran down the street in the pouring rain, he quickly discovered he had run right into the middle of the town's annual marathon, so he started running along beside the others, about 300 of them.
Being naked, with his clothes tucked under his arm, he tried to blend in as best he could. After a little while a small group of runners who had been watching him with some curiosity, jogged closer.
Do you always run in the nude?' one asked.
'Oh yes!' he replied, gasping in air. 'It feels so wonderfully free!'
Another runner moved a long side. 'Do you always run carrying your clothes with you under your arm?'
'Oh, yes' our friend answered breathlessly. 'That way I can get dressed right at the end of the run and get in my car to go home!'
Then a third runner cast his eyes a little lower and asked, 'Do you always wear a condom when you run?'
'Nope..just when it's raining.'
No comments have been added yet.
