Change of Address Notice: 1 Metaphor Court
Hmmm, is there a placeto retreat to where all this madness cannot reach me?
I have decided to changemy base of operations and live on the Moon. Life on this fragile globe hasbecome much too tempestuous. Just as we nearing the end of two years ofpandemic restrictions and lockdowns, Russia launches its deplorable anddastardly invasion of Ukraine. It is all just too much to handle.
I confess that I havenot yet figured out how to get to the Moon. Maybe I could hitch a ride on thenext privately funded rocket into space. If William Shatner can do it, why notme? But there is also the issue of how I will survive on the Moon since it hasnot been settled (that we know of). Maybe the moon is aiming too high.
Mars might be a betteroption. I understand that it is a dusty, cold, desert world with a very thinatmosphere. But that might ensure I would have the place to myself. The spacestation that Matt Damon occupied in TheMartian would suit my needs. Oh, that was a movie set and not actually onMars? Well damn, there goes that plan!
What about theInternational Space Station? It is still up there and functional, right? It wouldbe a bit cramped but I think I could adapt. Zero gravity might be good for my temperamentalback. But I suppose I would have to go through astronaut training with NASA. Thatmight be a bit much at my age.
Outer space seems to be out of the question. Maybe I should look down instead of up. A nuclear submarine could work. Cruising around under the ocean surface has to be safer and less complicated than life on land. Not much natural light. A sunlamp would fix that. But then again, Russia has submarines, so that scuttles that plan.
A tree house in theAmazon rain forest sounds appealing. I would still be here on earth butphysically removed from most of the hubbub. Hanging out with tropical birds allday sounds like nirvana to me. But then there are the Howler Monkeys to consider.They are very noisy and would probably drive me bonkers.
How about a mountaintopcabin out of the reach of most of humanity? That sounds very enticing. Solitudedoes not bother me. I could bring a dog or cat to keep me company. But I wouldhave to chop wood for my fireplace. My wonky back probably would not survivemore than three swings of the axe.
It seems I have noviable getaway options at this time. I will have to find a way to make peacewith my current surroundings. Copious amounts of liquor would be helpful.Drowning my brain in the ether of inebriation would enable me to create alovely metaphor and live within it.
It is settled.Effectively immediately my new address is 1 Metaphor Court, Metaphorville,Metaphorland. However, there is no snail mail service here and Internet connectivityis sketchy at best. So I may or may not get back to you. And no, you cannotcome to visit. There is only room for one dreamer in this metaphor.
~ NowAvailable Online from Amazon, Chapters Indigo or Barnes & Noble: HuntingMuskie, Rites of Passage – Stories by Michael Robert Dyet
~ Michael Robert Dyet is alsothe author of Until the Deep Water Stills – An Internet-enhanced Novel whichwas a double winner in the Reader Views Literary Awards 2009. Visit Michael’swebsite at www.mdyetmetaphor.com .
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