Will Power Alone Is Not Enough

I determined to change.  I knew what I was doing was wrong.  I prayed to the Lord, begged for his forgiveness and vowed never to go back to my sin.  I repented.  It certainly felt sincere and the tears were real.  Yet I would return to my habitual sin time after time — over more than three decades!  Where did the problem lie?  How could I be unsuccessful year after year?  In the back of my mind I begin to expect defeat.  After all, why would this time be different?

I thank God that my last “slip” with pornography was over fifteen years ago.  My story is so much different now.  As I look back I understand clearly that RESOLVE ALONE or WILL POWER ALONE won’t cut it.  Yes, we have to make a decision for Christ.  Change begins with on that day, at that moment, but the human will all by itself, without help, will not hold up when temptations and entrenched habits rise up take us down one more time.

Motivation is definitely one of the keys.  I was motivated by fear on the day my story finally began to change course.  I was afraid my compulsive addiction to lust and porn was going to get exponentially worse.  We had just switched from dial-up internet to broadband internet.  How was I ever going to stop?

That was the day, actually without really knowing it, that I began to put meat and bones on my desire to find a new life and break free from that shackles and fetters that held me captive.  I reached out for help and the Lord was kind to me.  Over those first days and weeks and months I “met” some great people over the internet.  Rather than use search engines to find fodder for my insatiable desires, I sought out help to break free.

I discovered more than one support board and soon began writing in a daily journal where it was possible to begin to see and understand the mistakes I was making.  While some of the guys I met were just as lost as I was and at times if felt like “the blind leading the blind,” I received encouragement and before long identified people who had answers.  I began to read books which explained the addictive cycle and provided strategies for getting off of the “hamster wheel” of addiction.

I learned that in order to remain in my sin I had come to accept many lies.  One by one I had to identify these falsehoods and replace them with the truth.  I found help in many places.  I learned about “crisp boundaries” and that I always have a choice regarding which thoughts I will allow to dwell in my mind.  While these changes did not come about immediately nor without diligent effort on my part, it wasn’t long before my mind began to clear and I could feel the blessed benefits of freedom.  A new day was dawning.  I had so much to thank God for!

More than one friend told me that I needed a “battle plan”.  Then all of those steps in my battle plan needed to be put into practice one hour, one day, one week at a time.  My bad habits acquired over decades ran deep.  I was not going to find victory within a matter of months.  This was a marathon not a sprint.  But with God’s help I persevered.  It wasn’t always pretty.  When I made a mistake, I would write about it in my journal.  I asked friends for advice.  Usually mistakes came about when I did not stick with my battle plan.

I write this today to let you know there is HOPE.  Don’t get fooled into thinking that you will break the chains of old habits through resolve alone.  Yet know that when you will seek help and live out day by day what you read in the New Testament, you are not doomed to remain in the prison of sin for the rest of your life.  You will find freedom!  Jesus came to set the captives free!  He will help you each step of the way.  I’m also happy to do what I can from here.  My email is:  onlywithhishelp@gmail.com

I also wrote this short book:  Jesus Is Better Than Porn