Expectations are a killer

I have high expectations.

(okay, okay, very high expectations)

Ask anyone who knows me. I am constantly striving to be the very best at whatever I am attempting. Which also translates to having high expectations of those around me.

This can be problematic.

For example, when I was in high school and not getting very good grades (flunking history and english), and there were talks of "Gosh, I hope she graduates." I decided I would not only graduate, but also have multiple majors (History, Sociology, Business), pay for college in cash and get my MBA. Yes, I have an MBA, and I have zero in student loans.

Most recently, last year when I sat down to write and publish a book, I didn't just write one…. I wrote seven.

With four more currently taunting me from my desk. Do I feel as though I have met my goal of 'writing a book'?

No.

Why you ask?

Because although I have written seven books, I still don't feel as though 'I am done', I don't feel as though they are long enough, or descriptive enough, or have enough information, or a better story or, or, or 'they are good enough'.

There… I said it,

I don't feel like I am doing it good enough.

I don't feel as though I am doing 'LIFE' good enough.

All of these accomplishments I have had in my life really don't mean much to me, because, I look back and think:

"Gosh, I really could have done that better."

This is problematic and causes me tremendous stress, and aparently there is a word for it:

(Look it up, I'm not lying: Atelophobia)

This fear and Stress translates into tension in my friendships, relationships and interactions with other human beings. Not exactly optimum for a sustainable future.

My logical brain KNOWS this.

But, my emotions and feelings… they could give a Rat's Ass.

THIS IS WHY I AM *SOMEWHAT* OBSESSED WITH STRESS MANAGEMENT

This is also why I look into alternative therapies, 'How to 'retrain your brain' workshops, different nutrition and exercise programs. It is why I have bucked against the norm, why I have done things my own way.

Truth is: The expectations of 'Normal' drive me crazy with stress and anxiety.