Unworthy Launch Week: Safety Found Not in Ourselves
Have you ever plotted yourself into a corner?
I have. Many a time. Namely, with Unworthy. There were two plotlines in there that I really didn’t love, but the story—and the rest of the series—really wouldn’t work without them.
One of those was Evgeny’s struggle with depression.
Some people talk about “writing what you know”—and do I believe that? Not really. I write a bunch of stuff I don’t know—thank the Lord! But when I realized what I was up against with Evgeny’s story, I was a little overwhelmed.
You see, I’ve never struggled with severe depression. I honestly don’t know what it’s like to think death is the only choice from an overwhelming pit of darkness. And for those of you who do … I’m praying for you. Please know that death is never the better choice, that God has given you life, even when it is incredibly dark and hopeless.
Evgeny’s story does include that place of utter hopelessness. And as a writer, how do I approach these things? I believe that we should include real-life struggles in our writing, because that’s the truth of life. But how do I accurately portray such suffering without seeming callous or too dark? How do I address a problem that can be so multi-faceted? For some people, there’s no apparent physical cause of depression. Maybe a sin is the cause of such a state. Maybe it’s an attack from the devil. Others suffer depression due to health issues—whether that’s a severe lack of minerals or vitamins or chronic illness. As humans, our natural bodies do affect our spirits (you know, “…the spirit indeed is willing, but the flesh is weak”, as Jesus says in Matthew 26:41), but how closely does that work? How do I address this when it’s an issue that’s a little murky to me? And moreover, how do I speak to this rightly and gently when I have never gone through this exact struggle?
Then I finally came to the realization that I don’t have all the answers. (Surprise, surprise!)
For by grace are ye saved through faith; and that not of yourselves: it is the gift of God: Not of works, lest any man should boast.
Ephesians 2:8-9
But God does.
You see, Evgeny’s story isn’t just about depression—it’s about so much more. It’s about the grace of God that is sufficient in our every need—needs that include depression and everything else we face in life. It’s about the grace of God that is greater than our sin, than our darkness, than our weakness. Because even through our changing, fleeting emotions (and we change so much, don’t we?), God remains the same. Even when we can’t see Him, He still remains loving and faithful and true.
Even depression can’t change the Lord. Our salvation isn’t dependent on our feelings or our ability to be “happy.” Nor is it based on our good works or strength (Ephesians 2:8-9). Our salvation remains sure and steadfast even in the deepest of nights, because our salvation is not dependent on us. It never has been—yes, we trust Christ, but He gives us that faith. That faith links us to Christ, Who is our salvation. It’s not the strength or ability of our faith that saves. It’s Jesus, and He is unalterably true and steadfast. Oh, how safe we always are in the Arms of Jesus, no matter how we stumble.
“Jesus Christ the same yesterday, today, and forever.”
Hebrews 13:8
