4 Keys to a happy marriage and a happily ever after

Happy Valentine’s Day! 

To celebrate Valentine’s Day, I wanted to find out what is the secret to a happy marriage? As a romance author, I write stories where the hero and heroine not only get together, it’s expected that they’ll marry and live happily ever after in some sort of union—typically marriage. That’s all well and good for romantic fiction, but how do couples achieve their happily ever in real life?

I asked people on my Facebook fan page to give me their best advice on how they’ve managed to have a happy marriage. I had only one requirement—the person giving the advice must have been married for at least five years. Here’s some of what they said has been key to their marital bliss.

Communication

No surprise that communication was one of the most popular responses, so I decided to list it first. Spouses should feel comfortable talking to each other about their wants, needs, dreams, and fantasies, and by communicating with your spouse, you make sure you’re on the same page about various aspects of your relationship. Gn P said communication is the key to her marriage lasting 33 years, and Elizabeth R said, “Communication is key, you have to figure out how to talk to each other and how to listen to each other.” So talking and listening is very important to a marriage’s longevity.

Honesty

The word honesty came up a number of times as well and is important for building trust in relationships. Lying or keeping secrets can create a rift that’s difficult to overcome. It’s hard to have your partner’s back if you can’t trust them, and it’s hard to be vulnerable with someone you don’t trust. If you’re not being open and honest with your spouse—the person you’re sharing your life with—that’s a huge problem.

Spend time together—alone

If I had to guess, I’d say this is an often overlooked aspect of marriage. It’s so easy to get caught up with daily life—bills, work, family issues, etc. Several of the married couples stressed spending time together was important, and it makes sense. Alone time keeps the romance alive and helps couples connect. Author Synithia Williams suggested that it’s perfectly fine to take trips without the kids, and Karen B-W said “go on dates!” Time alone can keep a marriage fresh and exciting, and as an added bonus, children in the family will see an example of what a healthy relationship should look like.

Friendship

According to the married couples, friendship coupled with mutual respect is a winning combination for a happily ever after. Tai-isha J said her marriage works because they were friends first, and author Eliana West said, “My husband is my best friend, he is the person who, at the end of the day I want to share my successes with and who I look to for comfort when I fail, and I try to be that person for him.” Enough said.

Honorable Mentions

–   Keep others out your business

–   Never leave the house without a kiss goodbye

–   Pray together

Thank you

A big thank you to everyone who shared their advice! Here’s how long they’ve been married:

Noreen S, 59 years

Evelyn V, 42 years

Charlotte B, 38 years

Sherryl S, 35 years

Gn P, 33 years

Eliana West, 30 years

Paquita H, 23 years

Angela S, 23 years

Damali T, 20 years

Tara L-H, 20 years

Elizabeth R, 19 years

Karen B-W, 17 years

Synithia Williams, 16 years

Tai-isha J, 6 years

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Do you agree with this list for a happily ever after in marriage? What other advice would you add?