Flirting With Your Crush Without Getting Slapped

He turned to her and said, in a soft and special voice, "You cut such a beautiful shape in the fabric of the world."

She quickly turned away, a deep blush in her cheeks and a Mona-Lisa smile on her lips, which she hid behind hands quivering with glee.
...
Disclaimer: Studies have shown that success rates using such techniques increase depending on how hot you are in real life.

If you aren't the sultry seductive 'bad boy' type, or even the adorable innocent 'asian popstar' type, you can instead just write your crush an anonymous letter, watch them do the Mona Lisa smile, videotape the moment like a total creep, and tell them later, "See, babe? Love is blind. You felt my message before you even saw my face." You might then receive a tight slap on said face. It will probably permanently blind you.

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