Trick Questions?

A 16-year old boy in a boring city ponders his place in the universe in my coming-of-age novel Invisi-bi-lity. Or at least he wonders about the important things in his universe. Namely, who he is and who he loves. John has some ideas but isn’t totally sure. He could be bi or he might just love one guy, his best friend Cody.

This seemed like a good place to start the novel, right when he’s figuring out the answers to some big questions he’s been wondering about for a while. Of course, the answers won’t slap him on the face but Cody does. He snaps him out of his daydreaming, they do some illicit activities together, and John has an epiphany.

Cody and John talk about birthday wishes in this scene, and John has a realization.

(It’s extremely possible these realizations will be a lot less shocking to you than they are to John.)

~

When we emerge on his grandparent’s front lawn, Cody makes an excited noise. “Hey, don’t I get a wish for birthdays?”

“You get a wish for your birthday, not my—”

“Too bad,” he talks over me. “I already know what I’m asking for.”

A billion dollars or a new car? Ending world hunger? A date with that gay YouTuber he always says is cute?

Cody smiles, lit by his grandparent’s porch light. “I wish that this is the year you finally realize how amazing you are.”

Suddenly I feel completely sober.

Once, my feelings and the labels that best define me seemed confusing. These days, the real issue comes from my readiness to acknowledge these inner truths. Maybe I’m just looking for a sign, a push, for the truth to slap me in the face until I can’t ignore it anymore.

The sincerity in Cody’s voice, how his lopsided smile looked so bright even in the dark… there’s another option to my life-long romantic questions. Why hadn’t I considered it before? I’ve been trying to decide whether I’m bi or in love with my best friend, but the answer seems so clear on the walk home. It’s both. I am bi and I love my best friend.

-check it out on Vella here!