How to deal with rejection
I avoided this topic for so many years because I didn't want to admit that I was a loser. But hey, I'm pissed and hurt, and I need to find a way to deal. So here are some resources that I've found to help me.
Listen to/watch stories about people who have it worseI don't know what the science is behind trash television, but I know it works. Maybe its mean to take pleasure in watching other people struggle, but sometimes nothing else will make my comparatively minor failures fade into the background. Some of my favorites are:
Hoarders - I'm not Martha Stewart, but I don't have dead cats in my house. I'm betting you don't either. My 600lb Life - I am definitely overweight, but I can still take a shower. Support groups - if you have an alcohol problem, a rare disease or a death in the family, attending support groups is a great way to put your problems in perspective. Fair Game Podcas t - I may feel trapped in my life, but there isn't an entire billion-dollar international organization dedicated to keeping me in my place. I'm not in a cult. I know that because I can surf the internet and I'm allowed to talk to whoever I want to talk to.Reach out.I started writing letters to celebrities whenever I got a particularly painful rejection. One time, I received a reply.
Also noncelebrities who care about you will be able to help. Your spouse/children/parents may be helpful. But PLEASE! If you are trying to make a writer feel better about rejection, do NOT bring up JK Rowling or anyone else who was rejected like twice before making millions of dollars.
Watch videos about taking criticismHillary Clinton has a Masterclass which I am enjoying. One of the videos is exactly about this topic. She should know all about being rejected and personally attacked. Her point is that you just can't afford to take it personally.
Other links include:
Dealing with Criticism - YouTube
4 Ways to Stop an Anxiety Spiral | SuperSoul Sunday | Oprah Winfrey Network - YouTube
Brag about it!Everyone has haters! The only way to avoid rejection is to not put yourself out there! You're doing great! So what, you haven't landed an agent yet. There are billions of people out there who haven't written one novel. To purge my own demons, here is the nastiest rejection I have received recently:
