Spotting the Imposter

While listening to a podcast a few years ago I was first introduced to an idea that resonated with me BIG TIME. As I listened to the podcasters discuss the topic, my mouth began to part, then it was gaping wide open, then I’m pretty sure my jaw was resting in my lap.

Why this operation of oral oriface opening?

Because what they were describing was me.

Not just, “Oh yeah, I’ve felt that experience!” But the shocking sort of, “Wait…other people deal with this too? You mean…there is a name for it? I’m not alone? I’m not CRAZY?”

While that last statement is still under review by those who know me, the topic being discussed in that podcast is one that I have seen pop up in a variety of places since. Perhaps it was there the whole time. Maybe I was just blind to it before. The topic of that particular podcast is an idea known as “Imposter Syndrome.”

In case you’re unfamiliar, imposter syndrome acts like this – no matter how accomplished you are, no matter what you may have achieved, you feel as though you’re a fraud. Someone dealing with imposter syndrome typically has difficulty accepting their successes. That individual secretly fears that everyone will discover they are not as competent or as capable as they are believed to be and this underlying fear holds them back.

I realize definitions may not resonate the most with some of you. So here are some potential situations where imposter syndrome may show up.

Internally refusing to accept compliments for an area where you have talent, because you compare yourself only to those who are recognized as world-class in that field.Brushing aside legitimate accomplishments (degrees, certifications, etc.), downplaying them because internally you think anyone could have done it or you rationalize the accomplishment as insignificant.Avoiding or out-right refusing to pursue an opportunity because you do not see yourself as qualified-enough or skilled-enough. In doing so you disqualify yourself before anyone else can.Refusing or reducing financial compensation entirely because you do not see what you provide as having worth or value.

I wish those examples did not resonate so close to home. But truth is, they all flowed quite easily as I typed because they have – in some form – come straight from my personal experience.

Please do not see this post either as a “woe is me” style discussion, or a some sort of plea for compliments. I bring all this up for one simple reason: If you deal with imposter syndrome, I want you to know that you are not alone.

In my own personal journey, I have spent a fair amount of time working with professional counselors to help recognize my own unhealthy tendencies and patterns. Yet even after years of self-discovery, imposter syndrome still pops up for me. Still, in that time, I have grown a lot in understanding what imposter syndrome truly is and how to respond to it. I better understand my own tendencies, triggers and some good turn-around techniques. I truly am much healthier than I once was.

I write this for those who may perhaps have their own jaw-dropping moment of self-realization.

I write this for the parent of small kids who sees the picture-perfect Instagram families and feels as though you are somehow failing even though you are giving your kids warmth, love, encouragement and Godly guidance.

I write this for the professional who – though having achieved a great deal – is quick to brush it to the side and feel as though you are still somehow inadequate.

I write this for the person who internally resists compliments because in reality you feel like a fraud or unworthy.

I write this for the person who has deferred a desire or dream, because any time you start you feel as though it would all be a pointless effort anyway.

If any of this resonates with you please know, you are not alone.