The Fiver | Newcastle’s bulging wallet and teams demanding the moon on a stick

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This current transfer window hasn’t been particularly interesting, has it? There’s been such a lack of real drama that it’s less likely to slam shut next Monday evening than gently mist over, whereupon The Fiver will grasp the opportunity to draw a peepee and balls on it with its finger, as well as maybe some rude words starting with the letters eff and jeff, and yes we are an arm of one of the world’s leading broadsheet newspapers, but what else are you gonna do when presented with a steamy pane of glass? Peepee and balls, that’s right. Hey, we don’t write these rules, we just live our lives.

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