Chapter Four ��� The Exchange: Friends

Sunday, 9th January, 2005: ���Yesterday��� I went out to a wrestling tournament. (Host sister) was there as the team manager��� and (my friend) had gone too. (My friend) and I sat and watched the wrestling while (host sister) was down managing the team. At first, the sport seemed kinda nasty, but once I got used to the rules and things I got pretty into it. I couldn���t believe that even the skinniest guys had these enormous, muscular arms.���My friend loves the story of this day to today. My accent was thick and everyone was curious about me. While we watched, we talked about how we played different sports in Australia which was why the wrestling came as so foreign to me.

She asked, ���So, what sports do you play?���

I replied, ���My favorite sport is netball.���

She stared at me for a moment, looking confused and said, ���What was that?���

���Netball?��� I replied, thinking she���d probably never heard of it. ���It���s like basketball without a backboard and you don���t dribble the ball.���

���What���s it called again?��� she asked.

So, I said netball again.

One of the wrestlers turned around and she asked him what he heard. I said again, ���I play netball.���

He looked just as confused, but then lifted his shirt and said, ���Like this?��� and played with his nipple.

My friend burst out laughing and I realized; my accent made me sound to them like I was saying nipple! I was embarrassed, but laughed and repeated netballwith an imitation American accent. They both laughed and now we have a great story to retell all these years later.

My friends during my time as an exchange student have to be the highlight of my time. Coming into a foreign country on my own after years of bullying and exclusion had me nervous, even frightened, to see how people would treat me, just me, without any preconceived notions of who I was. The only preconceived notion anyone held was that I was Australian. I soon found out that gave me serious cool points. However, it was me that drew my incredible friends to me.

I had prayed and prayed for a true best friend, and she was given to me. It���s only recently I learned how the Lord intervened to bring us together. This friend usually did her required P.E. class at the end of the day so she could go home to shower, but this semester she couldn���t swing a last period class and was stuck with the first hour. I was assigned P.E. first hour too. It was that class that created our friendship. Going through my journals, she is easily the most mentioned person. I talk about her just about every day. Not only did we have first hour together, but we sat together during lunch and often spent time together after school and on weekends. Even when she got her boyfriend, she dragged me along with them and although I was a third wheel, she never made me feel like a third wheel. Near the end of my time as an exchange student, we did a Tenth Kingdom marathon. I had never seen the Tenth Kingdombefore, and I loved it! We saw lots of movies together as her sister worked at the local Harkins Theaters. She always had way too many free passes, so my friend and I used them. We even doubled for the school���s Sadie Hawkins dance. We did so much together, and even now we can talk for hours and not notice the time passing. She was and is the greatest answer to my young prayer for a true friend.

I had several other awesome friends from school too. Members and non-members of the church. My junior friend from my first and second periods was also fun. She was sassy and sarcastic and I loved it! Several of the sopranos from became my close friends too, and as I mentioned before, they didn���t let the fact I was a member of the church change their view of me. I loved that my non-member friends accepted me as I was.

During lunch, I sat with a huge group of kids ranging from sophomores to seniors. (The school didn���t have freshmen until a few years later.) We usually dragged several tables together just so we could play games and chat. However, I had several other friends who didn���t join this mass horde. They were quieter people, and my time with them was more often than not one-on-one.

One friend who was from my ward usually sat with a group of three or four. I met her while attending sports with my host sister. This friend also introduced me to her sister-in-law���s sister who was about a year older than me. I ended up having a great friendship with this girl. She lived in a townhouse in West Mesa and took me a couple of times to the YSA ward. That was weird. I enjoyed the time with her, but the looks I got in the ward made me uneasy. Serious meat market.

I also had a good friend whom I talked to mostly during seminary. She came from the other stake, so whenever I managed to get myself invited to their stake activities, I more often than not hung out with her. We had the most unusual debates about eighties music, and she taught me how to blow bubble gum bubbles. Yes, I was eighteen and never blown a bubble with bubble gum. She���s quieter too, but lighthearted and kind.

Another girl from seminary also befriended me. She was a bit more of a drama magnet. Her friendship with me came as hot and cold. One minute she would be all over me and spilling her guts about her life, the next she would practically ignore me as she focused in on, well, boys. She made my boy crazy look like a mild interest. For a large chunk of my time she had a boyfriend. He was about to leave on a mission and, according to her, she was madly in love with him. Unfortunately, her parents made it known they didn���t approve, and so, after a weekend with him, my day would be filled with her highs from being with him, then her lows because her parents told her to ditch him. I endured these times because when she was just herself, she was a wonderful person whom I enjoyed her company very much.

I had plenty of other friends too; a group of boys from choir who formed a band, people I didn���t share classes with but hung out with during lunch, kids from my stake who were also at the school, and kids who lived in my neighborhood and I hung out with after school and on the weekends. One of the boys from my neighborhood became a really good friend and I asked to be my date for the Sadie Hawkins. I���ve always liked him. He had this innocence about him that was adorable. I always respected his desire to keep himself on that course, and even after serving a mission in the deep south among Baptists who literally hate us, he remains to this day untainted in his optimistic innocence.

The kids in the neighborhood were also in my ward. Most of them were boys. I can only recall two teenage girls aside from my host sister and I that lived on the street. In fact, the ward���s youth was dominated by young men. In my age group of the eighteen-year-olds there was one other girl and six or seven boys. Coming from being the only one as the one boy from my ward left on his mission about the same time I left on exchange, having so many peers was exhilarating. I made friends with the younger boys who lived on the street too. Several were in lower grades, and even a few freshmen. They played games like football, basketball, and so forth, and they let me teach them some basics of cricket. Although, when they used their Beebe guns I avoided the street.

At church, I befriended a few girls too. There was the girl I mentioned earlier whom I met through my host sister at sports events. My other main female friend in the ward was a young convert. She and I both sang and she was studying to become a choir director. Which she would eventually succeed in and take over our high school���s choir. She was also engaged during this time. She and her fianc�� were hilarious as she was all over him. I loved catching them kissing before going to classes. I was disappointed when I discovered their wedding day would be the day after I flew back to Australia.

My other major friends from church came through the avenue of Girls Camp. I was signed up as a Junior Staff with a large group of YSA girls, most of whom were eighteen like me. Four girls in particular I made close friendships with. One stayed in the bed beside me and talked in her sleep which was hilarious, but I enjoyed conversations with her while she was awake more. The other three were already a close trio. They lived in the eastern wards, so a bit separated from us and it also meant they went to a different high school. I think they had already graduated too. But, I enjoyed their company immensely. One night we had an overnight at our cabin mom���s house. We laid on a trampoline and stared up at the stars talking about what we hoped for and dreamed of for the future, including future husbands. Mostly, I remember feeling at peace with them. They showed me a natural, easy friendship which I had craved for many years.

As life goes on, I have lost contact with many of the friends I made as an exchange student. I went back to Australia, they went on missions, moved away, married, and continued on their lives. However, I will never forget the impact they had on my life. The friendships I made gave me strength and rebuilt my confidence. They helped me see who I am and know that who I am is enough. I don���t think any of them know how much they affected me and touched my heart.

However, I am incredibly grateful for the friends that have remained. My closest friend has stayed close to me, her friendship unyielding. One of the girls from Girls Camp has remained a steadfast friend all these years later, and she and I consolidated together during times of infertility. I���ve remained in touch with several others and enjoy seeing how they continue to progress through life. I was blessed with amazing friends, and I hope they know even just a little how much I have appreciated them for all these years.