Sometimes the Excitement is Overwhelming

Well, it’s been about a week since my last therapy appointment (maybe a week and a half), and I can already see an immense difference in my mood, motivation, and mental health. I have done what my therapist suggested and returned to my love of nature, and I intend to continue doing so in increasing amounts as the year goes on. When I take my puppy outside, I say hello to the trees in the condo complex. I talk to the birds and the squirrels. I take the time to stop and brush my fingers along the branches of trees and shrubs, just to feel myself connected to their energy.

And this week, I’ve been better at getting things done when I need to. Which is a good thing because I’ve started my second masters program this week and there is already so much to read! I’ve realized that reading books of all sorts is also part of my spiritual expression. This week I’ve read two chapters for my Theory of Writing class and started reading one of two gigantic reading assignments for my Humanism in the Renaissance class. I’ve started with The Schoolmaster by Roger Ascham who, I was thrilled to learn, was actually her majesty Queen Elizabeth I’s teacher. My very Tudor-obsessed brain did a little jig when I realized who Ascham was.

And the book itself has been fascinating so far. In it Ascham describes his personal views on the ways students (whom he refers to as scholars) were taught. Namely, he derides the impulse to physically beat children as a means of getting them to learn, arguing that doing so builds a resentment and hatred for learning before the student even understands what learning is or its importance. These musings come about from a discussion he has with several members of Queen Elizabeth’s council; some agree with him, others adhere to the tradition of beating children as a means of getting them to learn. And so he decides to write this book theorizing what he believes to be true regarding the best practices for teaching.

I haven’t gotten far in this book, but I am thoroughly loving every word. Not only am I a total sucker for all things related to the English Renaissance (like I said, Tudor obsessed), but humanism in its entirety is fascinating to me. From its inception in Greece and Rome, up through the Renaissance, humanism is a subject I’ve long wanted to better understand. I’ve read Sir Thomas More’s Utopia. I’ve read Niccolo Machiaveli’s The Prince (both of which I’ll be reading this semester). But understanding these works in a larger context of an entire theoretical, political, religious, and artistic movement is daunting to do on one’s own, and now I have a class giving me this chance. And to start out with a book by the man who taught Queen Elizabeth I…well, it can’t get any better.

I’m also excited because I got a raise at work! A substantial one. And that means that I am only a few months away from being in a position to provide entirely for myself, should the need ever arise. And that includes affording my own place. And right now there’s no fear of that, but it has been my goal since my divorce to get to a place of complete self-sufficiency. I’ve been in too many situations where I was reliant on other people just to survive and never again will I let that happen. It feels so good to have gotten myself to this place. And once I can actually close out my storage unit, I’ll be even better off every month.

So here’s to the continued process of healing and self-improvement!