How to (not) write a bio

Dear Reader, yesterday was my first day back at uni. The course is done entirely through online lectures on zoom, so it’s not exactly as it was, but I still love the energy that always surrounds universities. Our first assignment has three parts: to write a very short bio of 50 words, to write a longer bio of max 250 words, and to write 500 words on the view from one’s window.

So now that I have a deadline, obviously, I’ve started redesigning my websites.

Why is it so hard to write a bio anyway? I’m proud of my achievements, content with who I am, I’m extroverted and generally do well selling other people’s products. I’m not afflicted by false modesty. I’m not shy of limelight or, in fact, shy at all. Yet, everything I write about myself makes me cringe, even though it’s the truth.

Up-to-date bios are an essential part of any creative’s life, the demand for them comes from everywhere: you have to introduce yourself to your audience, to agents, publishers, editors etc. They’re required when submitting a text to a magazine, for the paperback cover, for social media, for your website, for interviews…

It’s a good idea to have at least three bios ready to go, one very short, one medium, and one longer. I have several and they all suck.

The longer presentations, I can’t keep serious; the very short ones are dull and incomplete; but it’s the 250 word one that’s giving me the most grief.

For the short one, I spruced up an old one:
“Artist, graphic designer, and self-published author of five novels Maria Yrsa Rönneus writes historical fiction, contemporary romance, and short stories. After attending art college, she studied literature, philosophy, and English at university. Her studio is located in the south of Sweden, where she and her husband cultivate their garden.”

Fifty words exactly. No, Dear Reader, the third person format isn’t a symptom of any delusions of royal grandeur. For many purposes it’s customary, e.g. at the back of a paperback, for other uses, it’s easily changed to first person. What do you think? Inputs are welcome!

As for the view outside our window, I wrote a haiku. Ten words. Only 490 to go.

Right, I’m off to write… I’ll just have a quick shower. Oh, I should vacuum, and the weather is so lovely that I have to go out to get some sun. After all, that’s healthy, and you write better when you feel good. Right?

Have a fantastic and productive Tuesday, Dear Reader, where ever you are!