My Toe-of-the Boot Cure for the Blue Monday Blues

Hmmm, could I get apatent on it and make myself filthy rich?

We are rounding thecorner to Blue Monday which is allegedlythe most depressing day of the year. It falls on the third Monday of Januarywhich is sneaking up on us.

There is somepseudoscience between the concept. A psychologist, whom I will not flatter by mentioning,came up with a formula that considers a number of factors including Januaryweather, debt levels after Christmas, broken New Year’s Resolutions andgenerally lower motivation levels. It is a reasonable, if not scientificallyvalid, idea.

BlueMonday has more validitythan usual this year. We are closing in on two years of living within the COVID-19pandemic and the myriad of restrictions that have our progressively shrunk theparameters of our lives to a maddeningly small circle.

It must be acknowledgedthat there are certain segments of the population which are exempt this year because of the pandemic, namely:

BigPharma corps who have approved COVID-19 VaccinesManufacturersof Rapid Antigen Test KitsManufacturersof N95 Face Masks

These industries are makingmoney hand over fist reeling in billions of dollars in sales. Their executivesare no doubt punch drunk with delight and collecting hefty bonuses that willset them up for early retirement with everything money can buy.

I will admit that I amfeeling the January blahs these days. I do not like winter to begin with. The pandemicmadness in which we are drowning only makes it worse. But I have come up with amethod to defeat the Blue Monday Blues. Give me the right toenthusiastically and unapologetically kick in the nether regions any bureaucratthat tries to tell me that:

I need a fourth vaccinebooster to fortify the inner force field I supposedly now have. Three jabs aremy limit and my line in the sand. Cross it at your peril.

The face mask that hasgotten me through this far is insufficient and needs to be replaced by a N95mask. I hate the one I have with a passion. Upgrading is not going to happen.

The vaccine certificate needsto become a permanent fixture for the safety of all. I intend to light thething on fire and dance on its ashes at the earliest possible opportunity.

I should consider addingthe soon-to-be approved vaccine pill to my arsenal of defences against COVID.Come near me with that little bugger and I will slap you silly.

There is a new COVIDvariant on the horizon that will shut down the spring and summer of 2022. Iwill take a running start to unleash an epic kick to said nether regions forthat person

So let us adopt Kick to the Nether Regions as the metaphoricalcure for the Blue Monday Blues andfor the pandemic madness. Now if I can just patent the idea I could make afortune.

~ NowAvailable Online from Amazon, Chapters Indigo or Barnes & Noble: HuntingMuskie, Rites of Passage – Stories by Michael Robert Dyet

~ Michael Robert Dyet is alsothe author of Until the Deep Water Stills – An Internet-enhanced Novel whichwas a double winner in the Reader Views Literary Awards 2009. Visit Michael’swebsite at www.mdyetmetaphor.com .

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