Show, Don't Tell

"Don't tell me the moon is shining; show me the glint of light on broken glass."

~Anton Chekhov








...Probably one of the most famous quotes addressing this subject, and if you've ever taken a Writing course, I imagine you have heard the phrase, "show, don't tell." My memory of high school Creative Writing is summed up in those three words. It drives me to carefully consider everything I write, as I question myself, "Am I telling or showing?"



But explaining what it means is difficult for me. The simplistic version (and I do teach children...) is to ask yourself, "Am I painting a picture with my words? Or am I telling the reader what's happening?" But that explanation isn't quite complete. So let's look at some examples that might make the difference more clear.



After all these years, she was still bad news for him.  




When I read this sentence I can easily guess there has been a past relationship here, because I've been told. I don't have to think about it. But there is also little or no emotional connection for me, the reader. Now, read how Kristen Heitzmann describes the same meeting in her psychological romance/thriller, Indivisible:




Sometimes they went weeks without crossing paths, but every time the encounter arced between them like a chemical adhesion, the two parts of epoxy that did fine until combined, then interacted toxically.




Wow. Now I picture the scene, and I imagine fireworks...and not the good kind.  I'm not a chemist, and am not sure what epoxy is.  But I do understand the word "toxic". Mentally, I am there, in that scene, and my interest is immediately piqued.  I want to know more about this couple's history.  How is it important to the plot and how will it work out in the end?



As writers, that should be the desired effect our words have on our readers; to draw them into the story so they are there. I try to think of it as "sharing my story" rather than "telling my story".



How to do this? Choose words precisely. Rather than ran quickly, use raced or fled.  Raced implies running toward something, while fled suggests running away. Depending on which your character is doing, either choice shows a better picture than ran quickly.



Another example:



The little boy licked his ice cream cone nervously. (telling)



The boy huddled in the far corner of the room.  His gaze darted from one person to the next, as he devoured his rare treat. (showing)



The first example requires no active participation from me, the reader. The second shows me the boy is nervous, but never actually uses that word.



Please visit these sights for much more helpful suggestions on this enigmatic rule. They "show" you much better than I do!



http://foremostpress.com/authors/articles/show_not_tell.html

http://www.sfwriter.com/ow04.htm

http://jerz.setonhill.edu/writing/creative/showing.htm



Happy writing,










Lonely Hearts ~ a sweet Christian Romance
The Price of Trust ~ Christian Romantic Suspense
http://www.booksbyamanda.com