When I’m Overwhelmed, I Triage

Image Source: https://imashleymi.com/tag/triage/

So, I promised a blog post detailing why I’ve not been posting for the last 3 months or so, and the answer is both simple and complicated at the same time. However, I’ve learned some things about myself and my response to stress that may be helpful going forward, so while not blogging wasn’t a planned or ideal situation, it was, at the very least, a learning experience where reflection as allowed me to see what I do when I’m stressed.

New Job

I started a new job last August. It is a 1 year appointment, but I wanted to do really well in the job. However, the job wasn’t in Chattanooga or Murfreesboro, but was in another state which meant a four hour commute (2 hours each way). The first class I taught was at 8:45am. Now, luckily, it was Central time and I live in Eastern time zone, so I had an hour’s difference that I could “play” with, but it still meant getting up fairly early (around 5 or so, so that I could be on the road by 7am at the latest (so that I could get there about 8am their time) to give myself enough time to get prepped before class.

Dissertation

On my “off days,” I would work on my dissertation. I was able to completely finish the Introduction and Chapter 1 of my dissertation last semester, even while teaching 2 classes and commuting for 4 hours 3 days a week. I had a weekly Writing Center (MTSU) appointment and I made sure that I had something ready for each weekly meeting. So, whenever I wasn’t teaching, grading, or doing lesson plans, I was writing my dissertation.

Triage

As you can tell, with me doing all of this every day, left very little time for me. I found that, fairly predictably, other things that I would normally have done, just fell to the wayside. Essentially, when I’m stressed or overworked, I unintentionally practice triage. I only focus on those things that must be done and I slowly shed everything else until I feel that the situation is once again manageable. This would explain my long “absences” when I write creatively (not just the blog, but other writing as well). Writing is something that I need to do, but when the work-life balance gets thrown out of wack, I start taking away both leisure activities and writing activities in an attempt to keep from “sinking.” I don’t know if there’s a way around this, but at least I now know that this is something that I do.

So, I hope this serves as a rationale as to why I sometimes don’t write/work on the blog (as I personally found it helpful as to why I sometimes step away from creative writing). My mind simply can’t cope with too much happening in my life and makes “adjustments” to keep me going until the workload balances out and I can get back to being “me” again.

Sidney