A Foxie With Moxie Campaign Stop
Politics is big around my house, but usually I'm on the sidelines nodding and smiling. Not this time, baby. I'm hosting a couple of amazing people who happen to have some common sense ideas for how to turn this country around. Please join me in welcoming Piper Bayard and Kristen Lamb for a stop on their Foxie With Moxie campaign tour. Isn't it time we had a couple of women with sense in the White House?
Peace,
Liv
Because of my predilection for the paranormal, they addressed questions with a supernatural bent....
LR: Giventhe recent increase in preternatural activity, will you be adding a ParanormalDivision to the Department of Homeland Security? PB/KL: The wholedamn department is a paranormal division. It's a Frankenstein grown on thiscountry whose only purpose is to feed itself and attempt to justify itsexistence by grabbing more power at every opportunity. It's not enough that TSA(part of DHS) took over airport security, made a sweetheart deal with DHSDirector Chertoff for the strip-search scanners that can't tell balls frombombs, and insists on groping people for underwear bombs which would be barelybig enough to set their cuffs and collars on fire, now they have TSA agentsstopping people randomly on our nation's highways. Enough is enough. We wouldabsolutely not expand the Department of Homeland Security. We would eliminateit as a redundant bureaucracy because we already have an FBI, which hasprovisions for reporting any foreign intelligence they happen upon to the CIA,which, in turn, has provisions for reporting domestic intelligence they happenupon to the FBI. Enough worthless bureaucracy, already. LR: Doyou think Slayers should be given extra credit in school or at least be exemptfrom PE classes? PB/KL: Weactually feel that Slayers would be great candidates for home schooling becausemost of their work is done at night so they have inconvenient hours forattending school. Think of that heavy load poor Buffy carried. Their slaying activities would be their PE class. They could earncredit by either slaying 500 vampires or closing one Hellmouth. We wouldemphasize, however, that Ivy League schools only accept the closing of aHellmouth for their admissions qualifications. LR: With allhis years of experience and opportunities for observation, will the Ghost inLincoln's bedroom be made part of the cabinet? PB/KL: Lincolnwas one bright and gutsy guy. He made many unpopular decisions for the good ofthe nation. We need that kind of commitment to our country so he wouldabsolutely be part of the cabinet. We wouldmake him the Director of Homeland Security because when we're through with thatdepartment, it will be equally dead. He can guard it in the afterlife and makesure it does not return in a stronger, mutated form. LR: Wouldyou support an Equal Rights Amendment for post-life minority groups? How aboutfor the dual-natured? PB/KL: No. Whenyou consider the droves of zombies that have taken over every government agencyand Congress, the post-lifers are not a minority at all. And as for the dualnatured, we see them as being like those people who hold dual citizenship. Atthe age of 18, they need to choose, unless, of course, they live in Chicago, atwhich time they may register to vote as two separate people. LR: Whatabout Area 51? Do you have plans for opening it for tours or perhaps creating anational shrine on that location?
PB/KL: We'regoing to make it a big indie book store and put Bob Mayer in charge. They know himthere already, and he can fill it with his own books, so it should work well for all parties concerned. LR: Willthere be increased funding for the application of scientific principles toparanormal fields of research? PB/KL: No. We'll turn it into a reality show. We'll call it Scientific American. Paranormalresearchers can compete to show the public their various projects, and the winnerswill get funding for their research. But we can't promise that they will betaken seriously. LR: Shouldcryptozoology and spiritualism be taught in schools alongside evolution andcreationism? PB/KL: We preferthat kids learn to read first before we ask them to actually think aboutanything. Besides, any beliefs that are not hard science based on measurable facts should not be taught inschools. They should be debated on street corners by homeless people, just like they always have been. LR: Whatare your plans for dealing with the Zombie Apocalypse? PB/KL: Wewill issue nude pictures of Rush Limbaugh and Janet Napolitano to all of theliving. Don't worry. We will have the safe side clearly labeled, "Point otherside toward enemy." Upon flashing these pictures, zombies will rip out theirown eyes and start eating themselves or fall back in their graves to get away.If any of the living still want to stick around after seeing these pictures,themselves, they should stock up on ammo and Twinkies. Our sincere thanks to Liv forhosting us here at her blog today. It's been an honor. If you would like to host aBayard/Lamb 2012 Campaign Blog Tour Stop, please email Piper at piperbayard@yahoo.com. Bayard/Lamb 2012 – Because We'reNot the Other Guys
Peace,
Liv
Because of my predilection for the paranormal, they addressed questions with a supernatural bent....
LR: Giventhe recent increase in preternatural activity, will you be adding a ParanormalDivision to the Department of Homeland Security? PB/KL: The wholedamn department is a paranormal division. It's a Frankenstein grown on thiscountry whose only purpose is to feed itself and attempt to justify itsexistence by grabbing more power at every opportunity. It's not enough that TSA(part of DHS) took over airport security, made a sweetheart deal with DHSDirector Chertoff for the strip-search scanners that can't tell balls frombombs, and insists on groping people for underwear bombs which would be barelybig enough to set their cuffs and collars on fire, now they have TSA agentsstopping people randomly on our nation's highways. Enough is enough. We wouldabsolutely not expand the Department of Homeland Security. We would eliminateit as a redundant bureaucracy because we already have an FBI, which hasprovisions for reporting any foreign intelligence they happen upon to the CIA,which, in turn, has provisions for reporting domestic intelligence they happenupon to the FBI. Enough worthless bureaucracy, already. LR: Doyou think Slayers should be given extra credit in school or at least be exemptfrom PE classes? PB/KL: Weactually feel that Slayers would be great candidates for home schooling becausemost of their work is done at night so they have inconvenient hours forattending school. Think of that heavy load poor Buffy carried. Their slaying activities would be their PE class. They could earncredit by either slaying 500 vampires or closing one Hellmouth. We wouldemphasize, however, that Ivy League schools only accept the closing of aHellmouth for their admissions qualifications. LR: With allhis years of experience and opportunities for observation, will the Ghost inLincoln's bedroom be made part of the cabinet? PB/KL: Lincolnwas one bright and gutsy guy. He made many unpopular decisions for the good ofthe nation. We need that kind of commitment to our country so he wouldabsolutely be part of the cabinet. We wouldmake him the Director of Homeland Security because when we're through with thatdepartment, it will be equally dead. He can guard it in the afterlife and makesure it does not return in a stronger, mutated form. LR: Wouldyou support an Equal Rights Amendment for post-life minority groups? How aboutfor the dual-natured? PB/KL: No. Whenyou consider the droves of zombies that have taken over every government agencyand Congress, the post-lifers are not a minority at all. And as for the dualnatured, we see them as being like those people who hold dual citizenship. Atthe age of 18, they need to choose, unless, of course, they live in Chicago, atwhich time they may register to vote as two separate people. LR: Whatabout Area 51? Do you have plans for opening it for tours or perhaps creating anational shrine on that location?
PB/KL: We'regoing to make it a big indie book store and put Bob Mayer in charge. They know himthere already, and he can fill it with his own books, so it should work well for all parties concerned. LR: Willthere be increased funding for the application of scientific principles toparanormal fields of research? PB/KL: No. We'll turn it into a reality show. We'll call it Scientific American. Paranormalresearchers can compete to show the public their various projects, and the winnerswill get funding for their research. But we can't promise that they will betaken seriously. LR: Shouldcryptozoology and spiritualism be taught in schools alongside evolution andcreationism? PB/KL: We preferthat kids learn to read first before we ask them to actually think aboutanything. Besides, any beliefs that are not hard science based on measurable facts should not be taught inschools. They should be debated on street corners by homeless people, just like they always have been. LR: Whatare your plans for dealing with the Zombie Apocalypse? PB/KL: Wewill issue nude pictures of Rush Limbaugh and Janet Napolitano to all of theliving. Don't worry. We will have the safe side clearly labeled, "Point otherside toward enemy." Upon flashing these pictures, zombies will rip out theirown eyes and start eating themselves or fall back in their graves to get away.If any of the living still want to stick around after seeing these pictures,themselves, they should stock up on ammo and Twinkies. Our sincere thanks to Liv forhosting us here at her blog today. It's been an honor. If you would like to host aBayard/Lamb 2012 Campaign Blog Tour Stop, please email Piper at piperbayard@yahoo.com. Bayard/Lamb 2012 – Because We'reNot the Other Guys
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