A Reader Asks for Help. Do You Have Advice?

Julie,

I know this isn't the topic but I need help. I've been blindsided by a devastating depression. I saw my pdoc today and he suggested the hospital. I can't let my family know how bad I feel because I have committed to my daughter to babysit her five month old now that she is back at work. If I don't keep up my end of the deal she will be screwed. I was so sure I wouldn't get here again and I fell humiliated that this has happened. I feel so alone. Is there anyone out there?

Gail

 

Hi Gail,

Here is my advice- go to the hospital. Your daughter wants a mother who is alive. If your doctor had discovered possible breast cancer, you would go to the hospital. If you had pneumonia, you would go to the hospital. Depression is an illness- it's not a weakness. It's a brain problem.

There are others who can take care of your grandchild.  When you get help for your ILLNESS,  you can then be a great babysitter for your grandchild.

I walk my talk. I got ECT in 2010 because of severe depression. I was in the hospital a lot. Every person in my life knew about it and now one judged. I am sure you are loved-  you are needed. Pride has to be put to the side when the depression gets this bad.

Please get the help your doctor suggests. Then you can write me a letter and tell me how much better you feel.

Here is a script you can say to your daughter:

My depression is back. I've tried to manage it on my own and I've tried to manage it with my doctor.  It's an illness and it's too strong for me right now to take care of at home.  I'm going into the hosptial for a few days to get some help.  I know that I would do the same if I had a physical illness such as cancer. I've been talking myself out of this becuase I am so committed to taking care of your child-  it means so much to me. But being a whole prson with a calm mind is my goal.  Then I can really be the grandmother I want to be.

Let's work together on a plan for when I am gone.  Your love and help get me through this. Thank you.

**

I call these scripts because you say them exactly. They help you state your case when it's hard to talk.  Your daughter will understand.

 

You can do it Gail.

 

Julie

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