A Writing Epiphany

Yup--another one.Why does it take me this amount of time every single novel to figure out that my writing process is tedious and messy? I try and push through that rough first draft ala the great Nora Roberts. Every single time I stall. Even if I know the next scene I stall. Because after writing the last ten scenes I have added notes and threads that I now know need to be worked into the plot from the beginning and my mind is divided between going back and starting over, or carrying on. That slows me down.So rather than getting that first rough draft written, I have to constantly start back at the beginning and work through it. And because it is slow, because it feels like I'm wasting time and being inefficient, I punish myself terribly (it's only a mental whip-lashing, but a whip-lashing nonetheless). This only gets worse when I look at my calendar and calculate my time. So what's to be done? At the end of the day the question should always be 'are you writing the best book possible?' Not, 'can you write four of these babies a year?' Some people can do both (that darned Nora who must be watching over my shoulder today (but we all need heroes, right?)). I can't.  When I'm consumed by a book I write pretty fast. I just need to learn to trust my instincts and do what needs to be done. Stop panicking, start enjoying the incredible privilege I have right now of writing novels. 

Who knows how long it will last?

Anyone else have a process they hate?